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Christmas carol parodies and more

December 23, 2016
Sawyer Brockstedt, 10, of Rehoboth Beach, tied for fourth place in the 10-11-year-old girls’ division of the 2016 Doral-Publix Junior Golf Classic, held Dec. 18-19 at Trump Doral Resort, Miami, Fla. CHASE BROCKSTEDT PHOTO

In keeping with long-standing tradition, here are the annual Christmas carol golf parodies. Versions of these song spoofs have appeared in all of this column’s previous Christmas editions. I hope you enjoy them. 

Best wishes to you and yours for the holiday season!

Away in a Bunker

(As sung to "Away in a Manger") 

Away in a bunker,

The little ball lay.
My tee shot went wide right,
Bad words did I say.

I looked at that golf ball
down where it did lay,
It looked like a fried egg.
A safe shot? "No way." 

The caddie was laughing,
My partners just smiled.
They knew that my trap shots
Were weak or too wild. 

I swung with my sand wedge
The sand it did fly
The ball popped up also,
And rolled by my side. 

I need some real guidance,
I need some help quick.
I can’t play this shot, so
I’m writing St. Nick.

We the Clubs of Titleist Are

(As sung to "We Three Kings of Orient Are")

We the clubs of Titleist are,
You will hit our drivers so far,
Many lofts for you to choose from,
Following "Morning Drive." 

CHORUS:

Oh, clubs of wonder, clubs of might,
Clubs with special features bright,
Selling hope for our next tee shot,
Guide us to the perfect drive.

Putting Woes

(As sung to "Silent Night")

Putt-ing woes!
Putt-ing woes!

All’s not calm, all’s not bright.
After three putts missed
I’m fit to be tied, 
The first two went short and
The last one just wide.
Make this fourth putt, oh please, please
Ma-ke this fo-urth putt, please.

Club Pros We Have Heard on High

(As sung to "Angels We Have Heard on High")

Club pros we have heard on high,
Shouting loudly o’er the range
And their students in reply,
Harken to their anxious strains.

CHORUS:

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I’ll watch the ball for you. 

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I will watch the ball for you.

The Pro Shop

(As sung to "Silver Bells") 

See the pro shop,
Busy golf shop,
Decked in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.

Golfers laughing,
players putting,
Buying clubs with a smile.
And at ev’ry sales counter you hear: 

CHORUS:

Silver bells, silver bells,
It’s Christmas time in the pro shop.
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring,
Cash registers sing all day.

Here We Go A-Golfing

(Sung to "Here we come a-caroling")

Here we go a-golf-ing
Among the fairways green;
Here we go a-wandering,
No bad shots to be seen: 

CHORUS:

Love and joy come to you,
And to you fun golfing too;
And God bless you and
Send you a happy New Year,
And God send you a happy New Year. 

Brockstedt competes in major junior golf event

Sawyer Brockstedt, 10, of Rehoboth Beach, is making a bit of a name for herself in national junior golf.

She tied for fourth place in the 10-11 girls’ division of this year’s Doral-Publix Junior Golf Classic, presented by The Orange Bowl. Brockstedt’s tournament took place Dec. 18-19 on the Red Tiger Course at Trump National Doral in Miami, and there were 30 competitors in her division. Brockstedt shot 37 in the first round, and 42 in the second. 

The Doral-Publix is one of the largest and oldest international junior golf tournaments, with participants from 45 countries spread among the different age and gender groups. In Brockstedt’s group, the girls came from six U.S. states and six other countries.

The right man for the season 

Tom Carroll of Milford made a hole-in-one Dec. 18 at Rookery North’s ninth hole. 

It seems completely fitting that a man named Carroll would accomplish this feat at the same time when Christmas carols are heard throughout the land.

Jim Hutchins and Mike Pyne witnessed Carroll’s shot, taken with a 7-iron into a stiff breeze on the 145-yard par 3. According to Hutchins, Pyne was first off the tee. Despite being a long hitter, his ball ballooned into the wind, and fell short of the green.

Carroll watched Pyne’s ball, went back to his bag, and changed clubs. Hutchins reported, “Tom hit a wind-cheating low draw that one-hopped into the hole.”

This is the fourth time Hutchins has watched someone else hit a hole in one, while he continues to wait for his first ace. When it was his turn, Hutchins hit “an intentional low screamer” that left him with a 10-foot birdie putt. Naturally, he missed his birdie after the celebration over Carroll’s ace, which included “the pictures, high fiving and chirping.”

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