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Connections and disconnections striking the balance

November 25, 2016

Connections and disconnections - I suffered a momentary feeling of not belonging. To paraphrase a Cape student, “I ain’t trying to be in no Hall of Fame yo.” And yet there I was on a Tuesday night, 40 years after taking over as head coach of Cape track, walking into Cavaliers Country Club for the Track and Field Hall of Fame induction banquet. I followed Sallie Beth Johnson, Mark White, and Joe McNichol, and after being introduced by Tim Bamforth to a room stocked with Hall of Famers, I mentioned, if it were a survivor program, I’d be the first voted out of the room. That was no false humility, I believed it, and I also believed if Fredman walks to a podium make sure the Pope doesn’t pick up the microphone. Cape’s greatest running back of all time Henry White and his sister Vanessa - a total surprise - greeted me when I walked into the room. Henry handed me his phone and I was on Facetime with his brother Lance, who lives in Rome. Lance is arguably Cape’s all-time best runner. Henry flew in from Illinois just to hand me the phone and to show support from the White family. And Rodney Smith flew up from Florida, gave me one of his high school track spikes with two state champion medals tied to the laces. Men are emotionally reserved, especially sports alpha dogs, so when an athlete says “I love you, coach,” there is nothing clouding the spaces in between, they absolutely mean it. I told the room stories - it’s what I do - and down here at Sesame Street by the Sea, it’s what we all do, it’s how we connect. The Cape Region is just a different place; personal connections last a lifetime and so do the stories. You can’t fake it, we know who were are and I ain’t the Pope.

“Hello, it’s Darren” - I know D.J. from the IGA, Darren Purcell, is 50 because we share the same birthday 20 years apart and a friendship since he was tearing up Shields play day in the fifth grade. He’d call me: “It’s Darren. Can I go to the meet with you guys Saturday?” Then his mom Dottie would get on the phone, “I hope he’s not bothering you.” “Sure, he’s bothering me, but drop him off anyway.” Darren had a monster day in 1984 when we won the indoor state title, which is why he’s always smiling. Actually, I don’t know why he’s always smiling. I often wondered about that.     

Shawn Williams - Shawn passed away in his sleep last week at the age of 44. In 1991, he was Cape Athlete of the Year based on his lacrosse talents. Last spring after a Cape tournament game, Shawn was standing by the fence and told me he wanted to tell his story about being an Afro-American in a sport that isn’t too colorized, although that is changing. I had a feeling Shawn wanted to talk about some sideways jokes he had to put up with over the years, including playing in adult leagues and coaching. I told him, “Sure, we can do this whatever and wherever, just let me know.” I could tell it was bothering him and yet to me and people who talk to me, Shawn was just a great lacrosse player and a good guy, not “the black guy” who plays lacrosse. I cradled then dropped the ball on his story, waiting for him to come back to me instead of chasing him down. Shawn was what I call A Community Impact Player, a person who ran the wheel of life in his colorized world. I loved the guy. I just hope he knew that.    

Snippets - The sports situation for all of us is best described as fluid. We “represent” where we rock and roll, and the venue changes, but we remain unique yet changed by experience. Amazing how many people don’t get that. If you’re into labels, then go grocery shopping, but don’t forget your reading glasses. Enjoy the holiday season or duck, it’s your call. Go on now, git!

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