It’s spring break time again
Spring break. It’s a rite of passage. A classic season event. It’s similar to the holiday office party, only with a lot of wet T-shirts and enough beer bongs to stretch across the state of Florida. Hundreds of college students will leave the rigors of academia only to continue their education in such scientific locations as Fort Lauderdale and the Caribbean islands. There they will renew their mind, spirit and body, judging by the few clothes they’ve chosen to wear. They will pull the plug on their inhibitions faster than a piece of burning toast.
Just for a moment consider the college student. Most of them will find the transition difficult, for they will have to leave the comfort of their communal couches, which are usually located on the front lawn of the dorm and head for the couch at home wrapped in plastic. The whole idea is mind boggling. Once home, the student will fall into a deep coma..
If there is a family pet, such as a dog, particularly if it is a large black one, then the animal will attach itself like an amoeba to a host, thinking the child is a long-lost dog relative, perhaps a brother-in-law from the Labrador side of the family, simply because they have the same sleeping habits, which is all day, every day, until the semester starts up again. They will eat together, watch “Judge Judy” together and even text together, since the dog probably has swallowed at least one iPhone in his lifetime and the directions are now embedded in his stomach.
I always used to take photos whenever my kids came home on spring break. I have a whole album of strange-looking young adults, sporting beards and other people’s clothing, encased in torn Hawaiian shirts, barefoot and draped in beads. I’m not sure if it was back in the ‘60s or if they were majoring in theater. The album is tucked away in the attic, which is bad luck for the people who bought my last house. Let’s hope they don’t come across it; owning a home is enough of a scare.
Well, not everyone chooses to come home for spring break. A lot of kids head out for an experience that will add to their knowledge of the world, like mountain climbing, exploring the landscape or perhaps the open seas. It’s all for the adventure of communing with nature and breathing the salt air. Hopefully they will study the environment and possibly global warming.
Unfortunately that adventure usually involves a place in the line for the cruise ship buffet and the opportunity to pour a large quantity of alcohol into a girl’s belly button since she just happens to be prone on the bar on the same cruise.
Scientists are now studying the blood samples from this group, since they never appear to come down with typical illnesses that may happen on cruises, such as airborne viruses and sea sickness. It could be the large amounts of items gorged at the buffet after an all-night casino game, but more than likely it has to do with the embalming qualities of alcohol they consume.
Still, there are plenty of kids who work hard over their spring break, helping others and performing work that makes a difference at charities and similar causes. Not everyone considers this a party break. There is zero to slim chance one of these types of kids will show up on my family tree though.
Parents have been known to panic at the thought of children home on spring break. It’s one of the reasons you see a spike in recruitment figures for older adults joining the military.
But there is one golden rule if you have a college student home for spring break that will help you avoid anxiety and ease your fears. Just mention the word, “job.”
Of course to be safe you should have an allergy kit readily available for anaphylactic shock reactions. Good luck with that.
