Matrix of resolutions range from get skinny to stay sober

Skinny and sober - Gym memberships rely on resolutions and vows of sobriety, as every new year the usual and unusual crowds shuffle to the signup counter. There are many great gyms and fitness centers locally; the best one for you is the one you’ll hit three days a week for the rest of your natural lite life. A resolution person usually goes after a matrix of self-improvement goals, from losing weight and not drinking to possibly never cursing again or talking about anyone behind their back, and looking for community service opportunities before being sentenced by a magistrate court. If you drop half a hat size, you need to get off the diet because you’re starting to annoy regular people, except they’ll never tell you. Anyone who sets a goal and gets there, send me a message, I would love to tell your story. And anyone who regained more weight than they lost, that is also a story worth passing on to others, so we can all keep it real out here. 

Salt and depression - I had a psychiatrist friend from Moscow who worked for the Imperial Russian Air Force designing cockpit helmets for fighter pilots. He was also head of the Walrus Club and was fascinated by my articles and stories of the Lewes Polar Bears. I remember telling Igor that my brother Tom was a really big guy, two standard deviations to the right of ideal on the body mass index chart. Igor suggested I help my brother get to the root of his depression. “He’s not depressed and would find it funny that some glum Russian psychiatrist would reach that conclusion,” I said. But Igor was convinced being overweight was a symptom of seeking potassium foodstuffs and dousing them with table salt. I told him, “You want to see Americans depressed? Give them a hard-boiled egg, then take away their salt or invite guests to dinner and tell them, ‘There is no salt in this house. We don’t believe in it.’” That happened to me at some group dinner invite, but I sniffed it out in advance and pulled a salt shaker from my pocket; then everyone got depressed except me.

Bowl of fruit - Last year at the new millennium Slam Dunk to the Beach there was a lonely bowl of fruit in the media room. I thought it was a wax display because the arrangement never changed, not when there’s pizza around.    

Team of the Year - In early January, the Delaware Sportswriters and Broadcasters Association will meet at the Ches-Del Diner to vote on annual awards and to eat a breakfast fit for a king, if the king were a dog. Team of the Year should be interesting. I guess it starts with the University of Delaware field hockey team, but there are other great stories, like Delmar field hockey, Woodbridge football and Smyrna football. And not to mention Cape girls’ lacrosse winning its eighth straight state championship and Milton Little League wining a pair of state championships.. The more exclusive the award, the more worthy nominees it generates. But for 60 years, the DSBA has thrown all the athletes, teams and coaches into the same pot. And you never want to get into an argument, “Why my great team is better than your great team.”    

Dean’s List - I’m always interested in college athletes who make the Dean’s List or President’s List for a 3.0 GPA or better. If such a garanimal is in your house home for the holidays, give me a shout through Facebook message or at davefredman@comcast.net or fredman@capegazette.com.   

Snippets - The Sussex Academy swim teams head into vacation with impressive starts to the season - the girls are 4-0 and the boys 3-1. The Seahawks have beaten Seaford, Dover, Delmarva Christian and Indian River. Cape girls are also 4-0, with wins over St. Andrew’s, Sussex Tech, Caesar Rodney and Dover. Imagine attending a football game with a professional commentator who gives a long-winded explanation after every play you just watched. The football booth is too noisy. Fewer explanations of the obvious and fewer replays would help viewer watching. Make the call, get it wrong, just move along and never say, “It takes incontrovertible evidence to overturn the play called on the field” ever again. The average cost of attending Georgetown University is $70,000 per year and that includes all expenses – tuition, room and board, and fees. Think $65K if pursuing an Ivy League education. Think first two years at Del Tech and you’re way ahead of the game. Go on now, git!