Moms’ roles have changed, but some things stay the same

Mother’s Day is one of those iconic holidays. Sometimes it is observed with joy. Sometimes it is observed with memories. And other times, it is taken with just a spoonful of sadness.

One thing you can count on though is the ever-changing role and definition of motherhood. Between balancing careers and family, new challenges and opportunities arise and present themselves at every corner. There are different images of what accounts for gender reversal from the traditional idea of mom, often taking a different tack in this role today.

Today we honor bio mothers, stepmothers, surrogate mothers, in vitro mothers, stay-at-home mothers and those who buy the bacon, bring it home and fry it up in a pan.

Either way, we can all agree, it’s a tough job now and in years past. I recall way back when, as mothers we had something that was not high tech, but it made our life easier than pulling a plug on a burning piece of toast. It was called a playpen.

I don’t know how much play went on in this little island, but it certainly met the definition of a pen. It had wood slats all around it, which I understand now are not considered safe, but nothing ever happened on my watch. I believe it eventually went the way of the other classic, the ironing board.

You could stick the playpen in the corner and accommodate half the building in there. The little ones were happy with a bunch of wooden spoons and a couple of pots and pans. Throw in a cardboard box and the tykes would be occupied for hours.

This allowed the mother some freedom to perform important household tasks. Usually these duties were conducted by telephone. They were things like polling your friends and neighbors as to whether to purchase the fake brick contact paper for over the sink in the kitchen or go with the fake picket fencewith the trailing ivy. I can tell you, contact paper was very big then.

Many of us remember our mothers as keeping order within the house; it wasn’t just a matter of raising children, who could be managed with just a dose of castor oil. Whatever the problem, even if it wasn’t medical, castor oil mixed with orange juice was the answer. An orderly house was a happy house.

Everyone had their agenda of dealing with the stress of child rearing. I recall the woman next door who had a ritual that involved stripping the wax buildup on the linoleum floor every Friday. She would then apply a fresh layer of wax, so she could repeat the process the following Friday. Even the driveway, patio and garage were waxed. Talk about stress. No corporate board meeting could even come close.

There is no question that mothers are the fabric of our society. Sometimes that relationship never evolves to a child’s satisfaction or to a mother’s satisfaction.

Or it might be that a person’s mother exited the picture very early in a child’s life, through illness, choice or even a reason that is unknown to the closest of family.

Still, we are faced with this holiday in May. There is no reason, though, for everyone not to celebrate Mother’s Day. Even if you don’t have children or the above applies there are answers for the recognition of a mother’s role.

Find a replacement mother figure at some point in your life. It might be a teacher you’ve known, a nurse who has been kind, a neighbor who helps out or even someone else’s mother. And who knows, that person might just be looking for that lost child too.

I always have great empathy when we don’t fit the pattern for these special holidays. Family relationships are hard enough. If you never had that “Leave it to Beaver” mom, look around and give a flower on this day. Someone will surely need it. Blessings on this recognition.