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THE BUSINESS OF EATING

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz; it’s all about the restaurant biz

December 26, 2015

Sirloins with mashers and crabcakes with cole slaw.
Sushi with hot sauce and tuna that’s served raw.
Monday night burgers all piled up with rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.


Dear Santa, did you pick up my cleverly disguised hints? (By the way, if you see Richard or Oscar, offer my apologies for butchering their song.) That being said, Mr. Claus, I do lead a difficult life. Nice people pay me to go out and eat. I am forced to take photos that actually look good. And to add insult to injury, I have to write about it! I suffer through grand openings, menu meetings, friends and family events, wine, beer and spirits tastings … it never ends. I am coerced into accepting a cocktail (or two) from the Cape Region’s smiling bartenders, and sometimes I’m even dragged into fluorescently lit kitchens where I drool over hulking stainless steel equipment; all of which I want in my kitchen and none of which would fit.

In light of my miserable existence, it just seems right that I get at least a few of my favorite things on Christmas morning. So fire up your iPad, Santa. Here goes: I would love Richard Steele’s haricots vert at Café Azáfrán (hazelnuts and butter!). And the same bean, but with a Szechuan kick, at Shawn and Danielle’s Confucius. I would also like the Plato Norteño platter at Yolanda Pineda’s Mariachi (fresh jalapenos on the side, please). And while we’re on the subject, the salsa at La Tonalteca, the chili con queso (and face-melting sauce) at Dos Locos, the tamales at Modern Mixture and the sloppy joe tacos at Papa Grande’s.

I’ll take an order of Joey Churchman’s duck ragout at Bramble and Brine (don’t bother to wrap it - I’ll eat it here), and anything made with rabbit by Tim McNitt at Back Porch Café. The Iskender platter at Semra’s Mediterranean Grill (with a side of her crazy-good tzatziki). That rib platter at Dogfish Head (I’ll wash it down with a cold Namaste, thank you). Oh, and just a few burgers: Ian Mangin’s PB&J Burger from Pickled Pig Pub, the Hamburguer Brasileiro at Lula Brazil (crowned with a fried egg and potato stix), the La Frieda Burger at Shorebreak Lodge, the Monday-night salmon burger at Summer House, the Wednesday night burger at Kindle, the Kobe burger at The Buttery, that apple/brie burger at Zogg’s, Maurice Catlett’s short rib double decker at Fish On, and if you’re in a hurry, the bacon cheeseburger at Five Guys with fresh jalapeños, pickles and mustard. (Santa: The warming drawer will be under the tree and preheated to 160F. Note that the tree is in the kitchen.)

It doesn’t really matter which dessert you bring from Palate. They are all delicious. And can you taxi your sleigh across the street to Fins Ale House for a dozen half shells and a Peacemaker with slaw? Follow the plume of hickory smoke up the highway to Bethany Blues to snag a rack of St. Louis ribs slathered in Chip Hearn’s spicy Memphis sauce. Speaking of smoke, I’d also appreciate the octopus small plate (roasted over a wood fire) at Crust & Craft, the Ala Sopressata pizza at Touch of Italy, the shrimp and cheesy grits (with andouille!) at Salt Air, and a lunchtime slice with that light, puffy crust from Rick Thomas’ Mr. P’s Pizzeria. Oh, don’t forget the deconstructed baked potato soup at Forgotten Mile Ale House, the chopped regulation-style cheesesteak from The Starboard, the Hairy Mexican at Stingray, the tea-smoked ribs at Saketumi and those steamed dumplings from Cultured Pearl. My expression of innocent childlike surprise will warm your heart when I unwrap an order of Wednesday night tikka masala from Delaware Distilling Co.

There are a few sleepers here at the beach, so please keep these to yourself: Like the freshly made lasagna at Pat’s Pizza, the fried chicken at Savannah’s, the Tabasco-smoked pork tenderloin at Pig & Fish, the chopped antipasto at Villa Sorrento, the veal meatballs at Lupo Italian Kitchen, the brunchtime eggs benedict with grilled capicola at Blue Moon, and the sticky ribs at 208 Social. I will be brokenhearted (nobody wants that) if I don’t get an order of black ravioli and the brûlée’d cheesecake from 1776 Steakhouse. I suspect you might have some pull with Chris, Joe and Bill at Henlopen City Oyster House, so try to wrangle the sometimes-on-the-menu lobster BLT - with a Thermos full of New England clam chowder on the side. I’ve got the Tabasco and Oysterettes here.

I hope I’m not being greedy, but will there be room in your bag for those amazing sweet potato biscuits (if he has them!) from Hari Cameron’s a(MUSE.)? I also need a Delmarva Dog mac ‘n’ cheese from Grandpa (MAC.). While you’re hovering over Baltimore Avenue, I’ll happily accept a chicken and waffles entrée from JAM Bistro and that baby arugula salad (extra lemon vinaigrette, please) from DiFebo’s. If you can get into the place, please bring me the beef short rib entrée from Crooked Hammock Brewpub.

By the way, Santa, I actually do cook at home from time to time, so a gift basket loaded with infused balsamics from Olive Orchard Tasting Room, and a selection of flavored sugars and salts from Spice & Tea Exchange will make me smile. When you arrive here, please help yourself to a plate of Touch of Italy cookies, warm sticky buns from Bake Shoppe, a couple of oatmeal raisin cookies from Patty’s Carryout, and a steaming cup of Sean Hixon’s Wreckless Abandon house blend from The Point Coffee House. Heck, it’s the least I could do.


Bob Yesbek is a serial foodie and can be reached at byesbek@CapeGazette.com.

 

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