Antler extract to chicken fat injections makes perfect no-sense

February 1, 2013

Family guy - Thursday the families of Super Bowl players come into town and are put up at the team hotel all expenses paid, from room and meals to transportation and seats at the game. Each player gets 12 tickets. My nephew Mike was on the Titans team in 2000 that lost to the Rams in the Georgia Dome. I made the trip, picking up my sister-in-law Nancy’s spot; she stayed home to watch the grandchildren, because any man would be overpowered by a half-dozen children over four days.  Mike gave us each an envelope with $500 cash spending money, saying it was a once-in-a-lifetime family junket, so we may as well enjoy it. We all went out to dinner at some trendy Italian restaurant. My brother and I agreed to pay for it; the bill was over $1,000, but some no-name Ram in the restaurant who knew Mike from the ACC picked up the tab. I arrived back in Lewes on a frigid Monday night with a wallet filled with about $1,200 cash money. My wife was balancing the checkbook and said, “We need to talk about money.” "What about it?" I said. “”We don’t have any.” So I gave her $20. Yes, that last part is a joke, but one thing I learned about Sussex County: Every married man has a stash of his own money - not a money market account but a "my money" account.

Antler extract - Every medical breakthrough that resulted in a drug that made us hurt less or perform better or killed nasty critters swimming about in our bloodstream has been taken from a natural resource that was already here (Where else would it come from, the moon?). "Bad hip" people have signed up for chicken fat injections - not me, seems to ludicrous to think it would work. Ray Lewis used deer antler extract to help with healing a torn muscle; I have no doubt it works and that broken-down athletic guys across the country are ordering it online.

No fans but plenty of noise - "Tyreik Burton on the line shooting one and one” never needs to be screamed into a microphone. And the more empty seats, the louder it sounds, no toboggans on noggins and big coats to absorb the sound waves. The PA guy at CR on Jan. 29 - Cape brought more fans - gave me a headache, just relentlessly telling us all what we saw, as if we couldn't figure out that E.J. Fountain just made a layup. Guy had a great voice, seems like a super person, but someone needs to tell him, “Lay off the caffeine, Jack." Meanwhile, I’m so cool walking around the first half with my zipper down. Finally Ricky Ward told me, followed by seven others who were sorry he told me because they were enjoying it more than the game.

Wrestling cheerleaders - Jan. 30 was senior night for Polytech wrestlers. The start of the match was only pushed back an hour, but at least the gym was hot with recirculated and blended body aromas. A herd of Panthers cheerleaders sat in front of mostly empty Cape stands and did what they do, and honestly, I’m not sure what that is, but the girls seem to have fun doing it. I just know it’s noise that never stops.  I have been covering high school wrestling for 30 years and couldn’t tell you one single - or singlet - cheer but I wrote my own: “Throw in the cradle, lock up the crotch. If he starts to wince, turn it up a notch.” “Pick an ankle, sweep that leg; don’t let him up till he screams 'Aunt Peg'.” “Head lock, hip throw to his back; squeeze and shout, ‘Yo, where you at?'”

Snippets - February is here, so spring sports athletes are revving their engines because they are up next.  Practice begins March 1, and remember the DIAA handbook says that athletes under its jurisdiction first owe their allegiance to the school team.

The Cape girls' basketball fundraiser is set for 3 to 6 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 2, at the high school. Ten dollars gets all the Kick'n Chicken you can eat. Menu: boneless chicken, fried chicken, wings, fries, mashed potatoes, rice, rolls, vegetables and salads. January is over and so is your resolution to diet, so hunch over and get after some chicken.

I’m picking the Ravens because I think God sent Ray Lewis to Earth to test the rest of us. This is our time! Go on now, git!

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