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Research indicates that even though abuse occurs across all ethnic, racial and economic lines, poor women are more likely than others to experience physical violence by their partners - partly because they have fewer options financially.
Carol Post, executive director for the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence said this problem brought 115 domestic violence professionals to a two-day advocacy retreat, held in Rehoboth Beach starting Monday, May 22.
Tonya Lovelace, program manager for the Women of Color Network in Harrisburg, Pa., was the keynote speaker on Tuesday, May 23. She focused on using creative ways to help victims get out of a bad situation.
“It’s about really being creative to meet the needs,” said Lovelace. “We need to create realistic partnerships in the community and events like this help pair up organizations that have similar goals and can work together.”
Part of Lovelace’s presentation focused on the realistic economic issues affecting Delaware women.
Did you know that:
• In Sussex County, a mother with a 2-year-old child and a 6-year-old child would need to earn $13.09/hour to be self-sufficient
• In Delaware, domestic violence hotlines received 3,507 calls in 2004
• Minimum wage in Delaware is $6.15/hour
• Domestic violence victims filed more than 2,794 petitions for protection from abuse in 2004 alone
• 21 percent of Delaware workers earn poverty-level wages
• Police officers handled 27,477 reported domestic violence incidents in 2004
• 42 percent of households living in rental units pay 30 percent or more of their income on housing
• In 92 percent of all domestic violence incidents, the crimes were committed by men against women
• 12 percent of Delaware families are “officially poor,” which is the equivalent of about 39,000 households
“We need to educate others and encourage partnerships,” said Lovelace. “We need to put ourselves in (the victim’s) shoes and ask who she wants at the table.”
Lovelace said the victim often is interested in providing for her family, which means getting affordable housing advocates on board. But, she also said churches can be great resources to help the victims after the initial emergency is over.
“Often we focus too much on the initial emergency-providing housing for 30 days or 60 days- but we need to look farther into the future and provide relief for her to meet her basic needs,” said Lovelace.
Lovelace has been doing domestic violence work since 1995, but has been project manager with the Women of Color Network since 2004. She said with federal funding shortfalls becoming more common, agencies helping victims have to work harder to do the same amount of work.
“We have to get back to people helping people,” said Lovelace. “We need to broaden the discussion and include issues of immigration, exploitation of labor, language access, community development and sovereignty for tribal communities.”
The Rev. Sue Greer told the group to help themselves, while they are helping victims.
“The average burn-out is something like three to five years in your profession,” said Greer. “We tend to invest in stress, but as caretakers you have to say how do you take care of you.”
Greer, a holistic healer, took the place of Kim Furtado, who had to travel out of the country and could not attend. Greer talked about healing yourself as a way to de-stress.
“Stress deteriorates tissues in the body and it’s a downward cycle,” said Greer. “It ages you and makes you much more vulnerable.”
As a way to relieve stress, Greer recommended meditation, but sometimes, she said, domestic violence workers are too stressed or tired to commit to anything. So, she said, they should work to monitor themselves and track stress levels on a day-to-day basis.
“Empty that stress from the past and live in the now,” said Greer. “If you need support, get it and find stability. Only you can change you.”
For more information about the coalition, visit www.dcadv.org or for information about Lovelace’s organization, visit http://womenofcolornetwork.org.
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