High Octogenarians - Jack Noel and Bernie Gallagher were finish-line waterboys at the Masser 5-Miler May 24. I told the octogenarians I had spare chairs in my 4Runner, but they looked at me like, "Why would we need a chair?” “Becuase there’s no way I’m standing for an hour-and-50-minutes if you add up the total time I stand all day long. It’s like putting a pedometer on a bulldog. We already know they don’t walk that much."

Wienie 500 - Jeff Klopp called me on Memorial Day to give me a heads up that the Indianapolis Wienie 500 was starting at 2 p.m. and local girl Maggie Dawson was driving one of the Oscar Meyer Wienermobiles. It was the strangest phone call I’ve gotten since Charlie Smith called me 40 years ago saying, "You better get down here to the Little League park! Some 8-year-old just hit a home run over the fence. I know you like that kind of stuff." That child was Brian Mifflin. The announcers of the Wienie 500 were so obsessed with hot dog puns and buns that they never said Maggie’s name even though she was standing on the track in front of a motorized hot dog. By the way, if I could talk to a hot dog, I’d have two words, “Stay fat!” And I’m never calling Ms. Dawson “Meatloaf Maggie.” What in the wiener wink is that all about?  

The Paywall - “We’re going to build a wall and Fredman is going to pay for it.” Many of my sportwriting friends are hiding behind paywalls. Like me, they don’t know anything about paywalls because they just write stories and hope someone reads them. Paywalls are like timeshares, when you get into one, it's like being trapped in a corn maze, and many don't transfer across multiple platforms. And what am I even talking about? My personal business model is free and overpriced, so that way I don’t have to be held to professional standards.   

Mohawks and mullets - Heading north on Route 1 in 2008, I came up behind the Cape lacrosse bus. They are wearing throwback jerseys and sporting fresh buzz cuts, mostly mullets and mohawks. I thought it was tempting the sports gods as a symbolic way of selling wolf tickets because a sheared wolf can growl, but its skinny self still looks kind of stupid. The Cape team coached by Mark D’Ambrogi won the game over favored Salesianum 8-7. In 2014, with Jack Lingo as head coach, Cape sniped Sallies again 9-7. And again in 2019 with D’Ambrogi back at the helm, Cape won 12-10. But Cape lost in nine other finals going back to 1995. Let's just say they were a “Bad Hair Day,” but don’t stop believing because then you really have no chance. 

Opting out - The travel ball arguments are tiresome, and different perspectives are irreconciliable. There has been a resurgence on Reels and TikTok of discussions about multiple-sport athletes versus single-sport athletes, or maybe athletes who just train for fitness and skills and stay away from the track suit Tonys of the travel world. All these postings across platforms have one thing in common – they are selling something. I was a roller skater for the Mammoth Casino Red Devils competitive age group team, maybe 13 years old. With my Hollywood haircut, I looked like some punk from a B movie. I guarantee my mother never said, “He’s doing what he loves,” and so I did it until it wasn’t fun and cool. I went to CYO basketball where I peaked at 14, but for a sliver of time, I was the best.  

LeBron blows off the band room - Lebron James is 41 years. We all know the rest. Back when he was a 16-year-old junior playing for St. Vincent-St. Mary playing in Slam Dunk to the Beach in Lewes, there was a scheduled press conference in the hospitality room, which was the band room on school days. LeBron didn’t show up and the message was delivered that he had laryngitis. I thought, "Good. Can we reopen the buffet before the next game starts?” 

Snippets - Hardball is the hardest sport in which to make a living in Delaware high school spring sports. Cape, under head coach Ben Evick, has won state titles in 2025, 2022 and 2018. Cape and Evick lost in the title game to a Billy Cunningham-coached Appoquinimink team in 2015. Go on now, git!