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Vicki Sjolander, had genuine love

June 8, 2018

On Saturday, May 12, 2018, Vicki Sjolander died at her home in Bradenton, Fla. With her wife PJ Widerman always at her side, Vicki fought courageously against cancer over the past year and a half. These last six months shared in their new Florida home brought them comfort and wonderful support from family, new neighbors, many friends and Tidewell Hospice.

Over the following weeks, while sharing memories of Vicki, what came up so often was the genuine love she had for all around her. Stories of her spirituality, her gentleness and kindness, her willingness to listen to others and her ability to always be in the moment brought solace. Not to be forgotten: She was so pretty and had a beautiful smile! As Vicki gave love, she received it two-fold. It is heart-breaking that she is gone.

Vicki's journey in life began in Mora, Minn., in 1948. She spent her youth at a time when a town provided a safe place to grow and explore possibilities. Childhood activities enjoyed by Vicki included the usual biking and walking all around town enhanced by seasonal activities like ice skating and sliding down the toboggan slide on Mora Lake in the winter; swimming and roller skating in the pavilion at Fish Lake in the summer. Regular extended family gatherings provided much laughter and togetherness. Family was never far away.

She was a member of the Class of 1966 at Mora High School where she was very active in high school life as a cheerleader. She played the clarinet and participated in choir and school plays. We hear from her friends Cindy and Marsha that along with them, she was quite the renegade.

Vicki was blessed to be able to travel and experience many adventures including New Orleans, Iran, France, Spain, India, Australia, and many trips to Italy.

Vicki traveled to Alaska where she spent a year with her brother Randy. He set her up in a small cabin near where he was working, and she stayed until the end of summer. She then moved to Anchorage and got a job as a clerk in a music store. She and Randy had adventures snowmobiling and rafting. She was a true adventurer.

Vicki relocated to Maryland in 1984 where she pursued her undergraduate degree at Towson University and later a master's degree at Notre Dame College in Maryland.

Her career began with Allied Signal (formerly Bendix) and she retired as environmental, health and safety manager from Raytheon Intelligence and Information Systems. Vicki was quite proud of her accomplishments at Raytheon. One of the most interesting phases of her work was a three-month assignment at an Australian government base in Alice Springs, where she helped update and bring into compliance their health and safety procedures.

Seventeen years ago, Vicki and PJ met and another wonderful path in her journey began. Together they made a home in the countryside of Baltimore County, an after-work oasis after a long commute. Her love of gardening was evident everywhere...as was her familiar figure sitting for hours weeding. Those weeds didn't stand a chance!

One of the things Vicki and PJ shared was the faith and fellowship of Maryland Presbyterian Church.

When equality in marriage was passed by referendum in the state of Maryland, Vicki and PJ felt that getting married was finally a recognition of their civil rights, so in 2013, Vicki and PJ exchanged their vows at MPC surrounded by family and friends.

Vicki served on the church personnel committee and was very passionate about peace, social and environmental justice initiatives supported by the church, from letter writing to standing with the Women in Black on the street corners of Baltimore City. Retirement followed a few years later, and the enjoyment of shore life shared with their dear friend and PJ's cousin, Addie, at her waterfront home in Millsboro. Being a part of Addie's life meant being a part of the Pot-Nets Posse, a group of loving and fun-loving neighbors who were devoted to Addie, Vicki and PJ as well. As Addie aged, Vicki spent many months in Delaware caring for her.

When Addie died, the journey now included trips between the countryside and the shore to the house Addie wanted PJ and Vicki to have... and a permanent membership in the posse.

In 2016, Vicki and PJ sold their Maryland home and began the move to their new home in Bradenton. While in Delaware that year, Vicki was diagnosed with throat cancer and decided to have her treatment at the Tunnell Cancer Center. The posse rallied behind them and by spring 2017, Vicki was in remission. Sadly, as they were getting ready to head for Florida later that year, the cancer was back. Vicki insisted they go south...she wanted to be with PJ in their new hometown!

The six months together in Florida found them putting finishes touches on the house they were making their home, sharing quiet moments on the lanai, exploring interesting gardens and museums, and finding the best places to eat! It was not nearly enough time, but it was time cherished doing things together.

A Celebration of Life service was held June 2 at the Faith United Church of Christ, 4850 S.R. 64, Bradenton. A Celebration of Life service will also be held Saturday, June 30, at 3 p.m., at the Maryland Presbyterian Church, 105 Providence Road, Towson, Md. As a tribute to Vicki's kindness and empathy, please donate to the Sign Language Interpreter Fund at Maryland Presbyterian or an organization that is important to you, or simply "pay it forward" to keep Vicki's giving spirit alive.

 

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