Christmas carol parodies

December 23, 2011

Best wishes for the holiday season to you and yours! Here are some Christmas carol parodies for golfers. Versions of these song spoofs funfests have appeared in all of this column’s previous Christmas editions.

This part of the year is usually steeped in tradition, so I figured I would start a new one.

Hope you enjoy them!

Away in a bunker
(As sung to "Away in a Manger")

Away in a bunker,
The little ball lay.
My tee shot went wide right,
Bad words did I say.

I looked at that golf ball
down where it did lay,
It looked like a fried egg.
A safe shot? "No way."

The caddie was laughing,
My partners just smiled.
They knew that my trap shots
Were weak or too wild.

I swung with my sand wedge
The sand it did fly
The ball popped up also,
And rolled by my side.

I need some real guidance,
I need some help quick.
I can’t play this shot, so
I’m writing St. Nick.

Putting woes
(As sung to "Silent Night")

Putt-ing woes! Putt-ing woes!
All’s not calm, All’s not bright.
After three putts missed
I’m fit to be tied,
The first two went short and
The last one, just wide.
Make this fourth putt, oh please, please
Ma-ke this fo-urth putt, please.

We the clubs of Titleist are
(As sung to "We Three Kings of Orient Are")

We the clubs of Titleist are,
You will hit our drivers so far,
Many lofts for you to choose from,
Following "Golf Talk Live."

Oh, clubs of wonder, clubs of might,
Clubs with special features bright,
Selling hope for our next tee shot,
Guide us to the perfect drive.

The pro shop
(As sung to "Silver Bells")

See the pro shop,
Busy golf shop,
Decked in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.

Golfers laughing, players putting,
Buying clubs with a smile.
And at ev’ry sales counter you hear:

Silver bells, silver bells,
It’s Christmas time in the pro shop.
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring,
Cash registers sing all day.

Club pros we have heard on high
(As sung to "Angels we have heard on high")

Club pros we have heard on high,
Shouting loudly o’er the range
And their students in reply,
Harken to their anxious strains.

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I’ll watch the ball for you.

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I will watch the ball for you.

Here we go a-golf-ing
(Sung to "Here we come a-caroling")

Here we go a-golf-ing
Among the fairways green;
Here we go a-wandering,
No bad shots to be seen:

Love and joy come to you,
And to you fun golfing too;
And God bless you and
Send you a happy new year,
And God send you a happy new year.