Drawstring pajamas are now the height of fashion

We have to talk about fashion. Certainly not my fashion; that ship has sailed. Now wait … it is an important observation that I would like to put forth, well, that, and the fact I have to write this stupid column.

You know, in order to appear tasteful, I like to keep readers up to date on the latest trends in the industry. Basically I get my information from a magazine called Rural County Thrills.

Seriously though, I have noticed a phenomenon, and don’t think I didn’t use the spell check for that word, anyway, this fashion trend is very disturbing, or at least unexplainable.

I don’t know if you have seen this, but more and more people are wearing their pajamas out in the middle of the day.

Yes, we’ve had this happen years ago; it’s nothing new. However, I think the circumstances are different. Usually there would be the infrequent pajama-clad and slipper-wearing adult wandering around the streets. Eventually someone with a net and a hook would come and lead them home. This turned out to be the occasional grandparent who suffered injuries from continuously banging his or her head on the John Deere tractor.

Today, however, you will find a drawstring set of pajamas on three out of five people in line, especially if the people are young. I have even seen a commercial on television where you could buy pajamas that look like denim jeans. I mean, have we gotten that lazy that we just roll out of bed and leave the house in these things?

I know personally I’ve experienced this trend. My grandson was leaving his house and yelled up to let me know he was on his way to hockey practice. Knowing what a big tournament was coming up, I leaned over to wish him luck.

What I saw was a 17-year-old in L.L. Bean rubber boots, what looked like pajama bottoms to me, a sweatshirt, a cap with ear flaps and a wild waving of a hockey stick that just missed the head of a black Lab, a Golden Retriever and a 50-year-old crystal vase. All I could think is, he must be sleepwalking, but then a dozen other kids dressed just like him pulled into the driveway. Well, good luck with that.

We’ve certainly had what you could consider oddities in fashion around here. We’ve all seen the guy in the middle of winter wearing white shorts over milk-white legs, leading to knee-high black socks inserted into black wing-tip shoes. To tell you the truth, I really don’t want to know what that is about. We all have our own problems.

And then there is the track suit, or I guess you could call it a warm-up suit. Certainly, on the right person, it can be practical and even look attractive. But when I put on a warm-up suit, it looks like I’ve given up on life and I may as well don a black shawl, tote a tin cup and sing “Nearer My God to Thee” at the end of my driveway.

And as women, we’ve experienced the midlife crisis attire on men. You know, these are the guys who trade in the button-down shirt and khaki pants for a tight black Ban-Lon shirt and form-fitting tight slacks, even though they have spent zero nanoseconds in the gym. I know a hairpiece doesn’t qualify as attire, but it goes with the outfit.

Just a hint, though, for the guys - women really aren’t superficial enough to judge a guy by his clothes. Money, yes, but that’s a totally different story.
Because I am highly political, which basically means I’ll wear any candidate’s button as long as it’s free, I do feel I can flip flop, change my mind, clarify my position, marry a couple of times and wear a vest from a 1950s sock hop.

On second thought, those pajamas do look comfortable. Maybe these kids do have something - it’s called easy living. I could get into it, especially at work.