Fredman flunks field sobriety test stone cold sober

July 10, 2012
Tom Hickman is a practical joker who never took credit and was never caught as the culprit. Perhaps he will show up Sunday as the ultimate joke. BY DAVE FREDERICK

Alphabet stoop - On Friday night, I covered the Cape 12-year-old major league softball district championship game in Greenwood won 8-2 by Cape over Laurel. The Laurel pitcher bounced a ball across the plate in the first inning and the Cape players in the dugout chanted, “Rolling, rolling, your pitcher's gone bowling.” I liked it, kind of clever. The next morning at 7 a.m I was rolling south on Route 1 in my black Toyota 4runner on my way to cover the women's Seashore Striders 5K. That's when “Big Loser Boy,” one of my aliases, was pulled over by a young state trooper. Corporal Tunnel Vision approached my window and I said, "No, you can't be Athlete of the Week.” It was then he decided that not only was I not wearing a seat belt and not only was I inattentive to him and his spinning red light trailing me, electing instead to actually look at the road in front of me, but I seemed to him to be impaired, an understandable initial reaction by anyone meeting me for the first time. I was asked to recite the alphabet beginning with letter F. I thought I did okay but I stumbled through the LNM&MENO (Philly thing)   so he asked me to count backward from 97 to 84. I felt like I was in a gifted and talented class for second-graders. It was during the countdown that school board member Spencer Brittingham came by on a bicycle seeing me counting on my fingers. By the way, I haven't had a drink in over five years and take no medications. I showed the trooper the Gazette sports pages and said, “You think for 30 years I've been covering and celebrating community athletes and at the same time been the a.m. drunk guy?” Two minutes later I got a text from Dave Kergaard, who was in Ohio. “Behave yourself! What are you doing getting pulled over by the police? Think of those eight grandchildren.” All seriousness aside, wear a seat belt. It's an annoying law that saves lives; so does not eating Cheetos, but there's no law against it.

Honor not annoy - At 10 a.m., Sunday, July 15, in the Cape cafeteria, Coach Tom Hickman, now 90 years old, will be formally inducted into the Ring of Honor of Legends Stadium by individuals informally attired. Coach Hickman has indicated his desire not to attend, citing health reasons,  but I suspect it's more like, “Who want's to be the 90-year-old white-haired guy on a cane reliving his past like a 'This is your life' program hosted by Ralph Edwards in black-and-white television days of 1955?" Hickman's entire family will be there along with many of the players from his past, and we will share stories and create a digital memory which he can watch over and over without having to talk to us, which is a great present, I think. Anyone in striking distance is invited; we need all of you to make this a success.

Snippets - The Cape girls' lacrosse alumni will play the 2013-14 Eastern Shore team at 8 p.m., Thursday, July 12, on Cape's turf field two. Meg Bartley, Lillie Lingo and Alec Perry, all Division I players, will play for a loaded alumni team that also features many former all-state players. The alumni team will be coached by Bill Lingo and Gretchen Wyshock (Cape coach through 2007). The Cape Crusaders fourth-grade team placed second last weekend at the Division III East Coast Nationals in Hampton, Va. Coach Kathleen Fluharty's Gottaloveit! Field Hockey Camp comes to Cape Monday to Friday, July 16 to 20. The times are 9-11 for grades 1 through 5 and 9 to 12 grades 5 through 12. Contact Coach KK at 302-745-5676 or I am a Phillies fan since childhood; so if they are 14 games behind the Nationals at the all-star break, why not finish 30 out at the end and set some kind of record? If it were high school we could organize the boosters club and try to fire the coach and athletic director. Scientists have cranked up a circular super collider that runs for 17 miles under the the ground in Switzerland in search of something called the god particle which may pop out if enough protons crash into each other at speeds unfathomable. It may also create a black hole and swallow the planet. The atomic power of sports is also achieved by going smaller - places like tee ball and scoopers' lacrosse. Go on now, git!