Cry me a river - I watched pixies on parade July 31 as the USA teeny-weenie girlie gymnastics team captured the gold medal for the first time since 1996. I have never become the audience half of “talk back live” to the television until this, the 30th Olympic games, and maybe it has something to do with being hobbled and housebound in a big green leg cast that makes me look like a 1959 Plymouth Savoy. Just stop with all the drama, because I don’t really care. “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” but little ones cry happy and sad tears. Whatever happened to steady as a rock? The Russian girls messed up on the floor exercises, and there was no compassion from the NBC announcers, saying that is the time when real champions put the pedal to the floor. Mothers of Olympic athletes have been made to look all the way nuts, but we all know behind every successful woman Olympian there is a crazy dad with both thumbs inside his belt.

Synchronized diving - When did synchronized platform and springboard diving become an Olympic sport? What is the freaking point? Isn’t one whack diver enough? And why do the Chinese dominate this event? Because when one gets hurt they just wheel in a new one? Admit it, we USA peeps are conditioned not to trust the Chinese; I mean, what was it with that guy running around the top of the stadium in Beijing in 2008? And what's up with all perfect SAT scores? And now we’re supposed to believe a 15-year-old girl is dominating events and setting world records in the swimming pool without being genetically and chemically engineered by the government?

Phone home, Dome - Shane Jensen, a University of Delaware history major with a Wilmington College master's in special ed, is a former football and wrestling athlete for Cape who has been teaching and coaching at Laurel the last two years - could be four, who’s counting? He has been hired by Cape, which is great news because Domey my Homey is a seriously smart teacher and coach, and will be like the 30-year guy out there working with kids. And don’t start saying things like Cape likes to hire coaches first and teachers second. That was true in my day and thank God or else like nine future Freds would never have been born.

Vinnie McDowell - It became official in the Family Court of Sussex County Tuesday, July 31. The Cape 2010 football and track athlete formerly known as Vinnie Vasquez was legally adopted by Colleen and Deacon Dave McDowell. Vinnie changed his name to McDowell last summer. Amazingly, when you put the five McDowell boys together with the 100-pounds-down “Deacon Dad,” they all look alike except for Jimmy, now a Cape math teacher, who looks like his Uncle Paul, who played with me in high school, so I should know. Vinnie will tell you right up front the McDowell family saved his life. Many of us go out and help young people, but mostly we don’t bring them home as keepers.

A man walks into a bar - The best relief pitcher in the history of Major League Baseball, Mariano Rivera, the shutdown machine of the New York Yankees with 12 All-Star appearances, 5 World Series rings and 18 total years of major league baseball, walked into Finbar’s on Rehoboth Avenue last Saturday night dressed like he was ready for work. Rivera’s son was in a weekend tournament at Sports at the Beach. Mo was the biggest celebrity to hit that venue since the 2011 appearance of 63-year-old actor Richard Gere, who asked that his picture not be taken, mistaking texting teens for the phone paparazzi. Rivera is on the disabled list most likely for the rest of the season. Great guy in the bar backing business in New York City - as in financial backing.

Uncle Fred - Cape (I include the consortium) recently hired Lindsay Britt as a teacher of special education. Lindsay is a cum laude graduate of West Chester University and also is certified in elementary education. Nick O’Cone, the vet tech at Rehoboth Animal Hospital, and his mother Georgette O’Cone have become friends of mine through the summer racing series. And Lindsay’s mom and Georgette are friends from way back, which makes me Lindsay’s uncle by Sussex County kinship rules.

Snippets - Cape will host the University of Maryland wrestling staff's beach camp from 6 to 9 p.m., Monday to Thursday, Aug. 6 to 9.  Cost will be $75 for Cape school district students.  The camp is open to all ages and levels of experience.  For more information go to http://terpswrestling.com/camps/2012TerpsattheBEACH.pdf.

The Coastal Basketball Academy comes Monday to Thursday, Aug. 6 to 9 under the direction of Stephen Re, head coach of the Cape Henlopen boys' basketball team. The Cape Crusaders Basketball Club will join Re to bring quality one-on-one instruction, skills development and game experience.  The camp will feature guest lecturers and clinics from some of the brightest coaches in today’s high school and college game. Grades K through 4 will go half-day, 9 a.m. to noon, and the cost is $75. The fifth- through eighth-grade group has instruction every day from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. with an hour for lunch. The cost is $150. Call Re at 410-430-7852 regarding any questions pertaining to the Coastal Basketball Academy. Go Phillies! Go on now, git!