Men run the risk of getting ‘chicked’ in coed sporting events

Charlene Jones, Rehoboth teacher and Irish Eyes intrepid entrepreneur, finished the 5K in 31:05 and "chicked" hundreds of male runners. BY DAVE FREDERICK
October 5, 2012

Chicked - Women jogging with water bottles don’t break 37 minutes for a 10K, although it's possible for 5K and also possible a wrong turn was made or that 10K and 5K mean the same to them, which is nothing. I shared that bit of confusion with a running friend (he runs, I don’t, we are friends) who was standing in the beer line (he drinks, I don’t) after he legitimately broke 38 minutes in the Dogfish Dash 10K. “There’s no way I was chicked in this race," he said; then we both laughed, as I had never heard that expression before. I’d have been chicked by a carton of peeps if I had run; I absolutely don’t mess with focused females - the unfocused ones, maybe?

Try to fool somebody - Listen up, yo! Don’t come to high school sporting events after drinking. You aren’t fooling anyone, and the face always tells the truth. I am picking up more beer and whiskey scents this fall than I have in a long time; is that a sign the economy is improving or getting worse?

Squandering millions - Grandmom Rose: “White men don’t have posses, except in Western movies.” ESPN’s award-winning "30 for 30" series launched a new season Oct. 2 focusing on the staggering stats that perhaps 60 percent of NFL players go bankrupt in their first three years of retirement. Maybe it's me, but I don’t really care. Bling, cars, clubs, houses, child support, failed business ventures like car washes and restaurants and forgetting to pay taxes all come back to nail these guys. Years ago, a weekly check stub made out to Lawrence Taylor of the New York Giants was found in a rental car at Diver Chevrolet in Lewes. The amount was close to 200 grand, give or take. The world according to Wikipedia records, “Taylor was asked what he could do that no other linebacker could do, and he answered, ‘Drink.’” That’s funny because drunks laugh at each others' jokes, but when the drinking stops the laughter dies; all that’s left is the damage. Taylor served three years of house arrest for tax evasion, and the story goes on.

Portion control - A friend recently asked me for money to help out a friend, so I dug deep without question because I knew right where the money was going. I have grown not to trust “portion of the proceeds” fundraisers feeding into national chapters with the promise to do research. I see friends who need help. I want to help them, but if money will help find a cure for anything, then have the government budget the money and pay the best minds on the planet to get after the solution.

Snippets - The Cape class of 1982 is holding its 30-year reunion Saturday night, Oct. 27, at the Greene Turtle in Lewes. Call Jill Cowan at 302-258-8589 or Ann Maher at 302-258-5720 if you’re a Cape stray from back in the day. I was invited but not sure I want to rock the teacher still standing card. The Cape field hockey team will board the bus for the University of Delaware Oct. 5 for the Northeast at Delaware field hockey game at Rullo Stadium. Kaci Coveleski and Caroline Judge play for the Huskies, while Hannah Pepper and Jacki Coveleski play for Delaware. Rebecca Pepper of Delaware has taken a medical redshirt due to a painful condition, potentially serious if ignored, known as compartment syndrome - a muscle too big for the sheath that holds it. It usually occurs in the calf or forearm and is more common in high-performance athletes, but then again, maybe not.  I suggest not reading about it if you are even a marginal cyber-chondriac. Tom Jones, along with partner Michael Ohr (not from "The Blind Side"), won the Senior Olympics racquetball title last weekend at Midway, and the two are on to Cleveland. Tom is a ruptured quad tendon survivor just like me. Last week I hit a milestone since my July 20 surgery by doing one complete revolution on the recumbent bike with the seat in the all-the-way-back position. Cape football 3-1 will host 2-2 Milford on Friday night. The Bucs give up 37 points a game, and the Vikings score 40. Unlikely the Bucs will score 40 on Cape, but they did hang 36 on Indian River in a 36-35 victory. Fans are reminded to stay off the field, and that goes double if you are naked or scared straight.

Go on now, git!

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