The World's Best Place to Live....
I was getting a massage from Amanda Horsey, who I swear went to school at HogWarts because of the magic she administers to my tensed and tight knotted muscles in my back. I have such a fun time laughing with Amanda during these sessions as she works on me talking about whatever comes to mind. During my last session with her we fell on the topic of what would you have done if you had the winning numbers? I'm sure I fall I'm like countless millions of people who have bought tickets hoping and praying that today would be the day everything changes. I'm ashamed to admit that I even found myself bargaining with God offering him a bribe on what I would give him if he gave me the winning numbers (LOL I'm so glad my Mom doesn't read my articles)
As Amanda worked out a particularly tight knot in my shoulder blade we feel on the topic of where would you live if you could live anywhere and we both decided that we would start with a summer house in Florida. The thought of being somewhere warm and sunny as the winter approaches is so deliciously tempting. Our winters here in Lower Slower Delaware are so gray and dreary, it's not even that cold in comparison to my hometown in Ohio, but the ambivalent climate leaves me always in a conundrum of what to wear from long underwear and a scarf to just a t-shirt and shorts. I have seen several clients who struggle with seasonal mood disorders and I have to admit that if depression were actually a person it would love to stay here during the cold foggy wet days of Delaware.
After my massage I was feeling tremendously relaxed, I think she drugged me LOL, and when I'm feeling really good about myself my imagination and confidence kicks into overdrive so I started Googling summer houses in Florida and what would be the cost to have a place there. Keep in mind that my accumulated savings could probably buy me a mailbox in Florida let alone a house, but hey you gotta start somewhere. The correlation between self-care and self-confidence is astounding but that is a topic for another time.
During this journey called life I have encountered a smorgasbord of people possessing a multitude of experiences, perceptions and quirks you love and sometimes not so much. Like exotic foods at a buffet some foods may be sweet and salty while others so spicy it curls your toes, it depends on what you like in life. What I like in life is not so much an external experience as it is internal for me, in the rooms of A/A they say it doesn't matter where you move because you always take yourself with you. That phrase has often disheartened many people who walk into my office which confused me at first but then I like me, most of the time.
I remember a time not so long ago where I was imprisoned within a cage of self loathing and it didn't matter where I moved I took that depressed angry guy with me as a free-loading roommate that never leaves. I tried to deny he was there, ignoring him but when life turned upside down he would be there harassing me, with photos, videos and recordings of my failures to play over and over and over again. WiL's most humiliating, ignorant, and selfish moments in life they still make me grit my teeth thinking about them. I totally bought into the idea that I was ugly inside and out and that I was just acting pretty from 9-5. I lived with the despair of loneliness finding solace in self pity wishing someone would come rescue me from myself.
In time I found the answer location location location and it was my choice where I wanted to live within my own skin. I could dwell within the soul sucking depths of my depression or I could choose to crawl out of the pit into the sunlight of satisfaction and gratitude. The challenges of life will not retreat just because we are in a recession. The mountains that stand before us will not move on their own. When adversity pushes us down on the playground of life we need to jump up and punch it in the nose! Life can be an unfair bully terrorizing us if we choose to accept our role as a victim. We can submit to giving up our lunch money every day making a meal out of our own desperation or we can learn how to fight and not quit till we overcome.
It's a matter of perception, it's a matter of choice, it's a matter of where we want to live within our own skin. If you don't learn to love that person in the mirror it won't matter if you have a summer home in Florida or a shack in Sussex County! I invite you to come with me to a new place, a better place, learning how to forgive, believe and smile at the person in the mirror. We will only get one chance to live with our rewards or live with our regrets where do you want to live?