Dress codes vary greatly for some airline travelers

They say that this will be a banner year for travel over the holidays. According to AAA, around 93 million Americans are expected to hit the road. Now I can understand why you would want to drive; experts tell us the cost of an airline ticket will be similar to the net income of a small Third World country, not to mention the fear of sitting on a couple of engines at 30,000 feet, rocketing through the atmosphere at 250 miles an hour accompanied by a couple hundred other passengers, who also noticed the pilot appeared to be about 12 years old. And all of that on an empty stomach, since the airlines decided to do away with serving anything that remotely resembled food. This actually might be one of the kinder things the airlines have done for their passengers lately.

What I don’t understand, though, is how people dress for travel. For instance, I noticed quite a few of my fellow passengers, when I was recently in an airport, wearing pajama bottoms that seemed to be held together around their waist by a tiny drawstring.

I know people like to travel in comfort but unless you are flying Air Slumber Party, I’m not sure why you would show up looking like you just rolled out of bed and were getting up for breakfast and just happened to stop at the airport to randomly check the flight schedules before you got dressed.

Certainly this ensemble with slippers makes it easier to get through security. Quite frankly, I’m surprised they just don’t get it over with and simply wear the computer they are lugging around. Why bother with the pajamas anyway? You could have one nudearama line. This would be a distinct advantage for you, since everyone else would stampede over there for at least a glance.

And who greets these pajama-clad people when they land? I don’t know if it is a Serta Mattress convention representative or if it is their own parents, who certainly recognize that the break they were enjoying is now over and that ship has sailed.

Oddly enough, I don’t seem to mind or question those passengers who show up wearing track suits. After all, they are the height of relaxation in terms of dress. But for some reason I always feel comfortable with this group.

Maybe it’s because they give the impression that they have suited up for a game and are awaiting a call momentarily. It does make you feel like you are part of a professional team or at the very least, you are back in the '80s.

I can understand wanting to give the impression that one just came from the gym in that sweat suit, but I also know the most lifting being done, judging by the physiques of these people, will be from a tray laden down with corn dogs, fries, onion rings and a soft drink the size of their head.

I agree, being around an airport can be interesting, especially at travel times for the holidays. I’m speaking as if all goes well. We all know there can be delays, lines and short tempers. And that’s just packing the car to get to the airport.

But once there, the festivities begin. There is nothing like hearing Alvin and the Chipmunks singing, “Christmas, Christmas, Christmas” over nonstop public announcements for someone named Stu to pick up the white courtesy phone. Obviously that is why there are bars every five feet in most airports. Well, that and the fact that you are going to visit relatives you wouldn’t want to be stuck with on a deserted island.

Yeah, the car is looking more and more like an attractive alternative. As long as you get to spend time with family and friends, why not start those engines?

The new year is right around the corner, so cherish those moments and let the regifting begin.