No Slam Dunk! German aunts substitute for indoor blimp

December 25, 2012
The Amazing Christopher often performed as The Village People at the Slam Dunk Tournament between games. "YMCA" and "Macho Man" always brought the Little Big House down. You had to be there! BY GOOGLE IMAGES

Short Circuit City - Super smart people are always at high risk for losing their ever-loving, cotton-picking minds. Sometimes suddenly things stop making sense, and that thing is the person himself. I know someday I will be a boardwalk babbler but an entertaining and harmless one. I am missing the Slam Dunk Tournament and the indoor blimp and Christopher as The Village People and  Cheers the band from Jersey. Bobby Jacobs brought the circus to town. He brought Red Auerbach and Hal “High Gear” Greer to the Baycenter. Red had no idea how he got to a place called Dewey Beach; he just stepped into a limo in Philly and there he was. Brooklyn-born Frank Layden, president of Utah Jazz, spoke at a Slam Dunk tip-off banquet. “One thing I learned living in Utah,” Layden said, “if you ever go fishing with a Mormon, always bring two. If you bring one he’ll drink all your beer.” Many of us basketball junkies lived inside Cape’s Little Big House for five straight days and 48 games. It was easy if you had a VIP pass - heck, the snacking and socializing never stopped. And then the money got weird and so did Bobby and he’s my friend; he just got overwhelmed by his own creation.

Here they come! - I was a kid in 1960 at the Penn Palestra staring into darkness waiting for the Chester High Clippers to emerge into the light.  I heard a baritone black voice sounding like crooner Brook Benton, “Look out, man, here they come.” Wearing orange satin sweats, the legendary Emerson Baynard was palming two orange balls, and his head was the same color. The team followed and there was Granville Lash wearing glasses, one of the best high school point guards in the history of Philadelphia. Baynard dunked both balls, then it was show time. You didn’t make the layup line at Chester if you couldn’t dunk. Chester was unbeatable, but for 11 straight state final appearances they always got beat by whoever came out of that WPIAL conference near Pittsburgh like Farrell, Schenley, Ambridge, Uniontown - it was just amazing. Chester High is currently ranked No. 2 in the nation by Max Preps. Chester is a neighborhood where the cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down. Teams in the top 25 nationally jet all over the country, playing in prestigious tournaments, wearing new uniforms and eating off a meal allowances. So - anyone else going to the Governor's Challenge in Salisbury over Christmas vacation?

Body Shop Fitness Center - I have been saying for years that girls who play sports need to do sports-specific strength training and pay attention to the science of nutrition. The Cape lacrosse girls - many of them by their own free will and testament so leave me alone - train under the supervision of Adam Howard at Body Shop Fitness in Rehoboth. The results have been astounding and appreciated to the point that Adam made my granddaughter Anna’s signing for Temple photo, which was better than I did. Seriously, the strong and fit people - those explosive athletes who can run all day over or around you - are the ones who will see the field. As I told the players at the football banquet, "You can always outwork people in sports, whether as a player, a coach, or a sportswriter."

Snippets - Jeremiah Cohen cleared 6-feet-6-inches at the indoor meet at Snow Hill, Md., Dec. 19.  The problem was, I was home watching "Jeopardy." Cohen, a senior, needs to be on some school’s college track team next season.

Sophomore Austin MacElrevey won the 2-mile run in 10:20, a nice time on a crowded, nine-laps-to-the-mile track. Why does Maryland build indoor sports facilities to accommodate soccer, lacrosse and track and Delaware makes no commitment?

I take 10,000 pictures a year, so the Friday before Christmas I’m in Kevin Fleming's Rehoboth Avenue studio buying a couple of photos. I still can’t figure out how he photoshopped a raccoon family wading through brackish marsh water at sunup.  Seriously, Kevin is the absolute truth - best I can do is turkey buzzard on a Cape Cod dormer.

I’m considering dropping out from Facebook as "friends” are starting to grade my jokes. Daughter Carrie was a kindergarten student of Mrs. Anna Jane Mercer back in 1977. Every child was supposed to tell about something that happened that week.  Carrie's contribution:  “Mrs. Mercer, my brother Dave was run over by a bulldozer.” “What? That’s awful, Carrie. When did that happen?” “I don’t know, let me see a calendar.” Happy New Year! Pay attention to the beep beep.

Go on now, git!