Hard to block a tackle who swims both ways

The Davey whistle and official call: "Blue Ball! Mommy, home!" BY DAVE FREDERICK
December 28, 2012

Swims both ways - An NFL analyst last week said, ”J.J Watt will swim you both ways; that’s why he’s so hard to block."   I don’t want to block him. Brian Billick: “That pass was Tom Bradyesque."  Hey Brian, shut up! Phil Sims: “Size is a talent.” That is so dumb it would land Phil in a funny class. If I hear "back shoulder throw" and "target" one more time, I’m going to the Discovery Channel. “C’mon baby, we ain’t nothing but mammals, let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel” - Blood Hound Gang. How about this freaky factoid? The Bengals are back to the playoffs for the second straight year for the first time in 30 years.  Scott Hanson of NFL Redzone commenting on Steelers' Shaun Suisham missing a field goal: “Suisham with the shankopotamous!” Hanson, a cum laude graduate from Syracuse, quotes the eTrade baby on national television.

Keep Kirk Cousins - Just read the book “Paterno” by Joe Posnanski and learned many things. Kirk Cousins, a Chicago native and then Michigan State quarterback, spoke at the 2011 Big Ten preseason luncheon. Joe Paterno was there. It was before the Jerry Sandusky scandal broke. Cousins talked about the privilege of playing football and the responsibility to “work hard in the classroom ... to give our all for fans ... to represent the names on the front of our jerseys ... to provide a true example of what it means to be a young man." Cousins added, “It is a privilege to go to places like Happy Valley and play a team coached by a man who embodies what it means to have a calling in life and who proved you can have success with integrity.” Kirk Cousins and Robert Griffin, both Redskins rookie quarterbacks, should stay together and front that franchise for the next decade. Teams are coming for Cousins before the draft offering multiple picks. The Redskins should ignore all offers.

Get off my lawn - The last five years of Joe Paterno’s coaching career, I noticed he had that “Get off my lawn” look on his face. He became the easily incensed grouchy guy; it can happen to the best of people but it is not inevitable. This basketball season I’ve seen the look on the faces of some basketball officials who handle themselves in a downright unfriendly manner. I respect the refs, know most of them, and no way I would even attempt to do their jobs because I would come loose and whistle entire families for flagrant fouls and kick them all out of the gym. My grandson Davey, 10, who has Down syndrome, loves to wear a whistle and walk around a basketball court blowing it loudly and pointing at people. If you yell back at him he says in self-defense “Mommy, home!” Some of the real refs need a pressure-release mantra.  “C’mon man, you called the foul before it happened.” “Mommy, home!”

Chiggers and Cheetos - Two things people will not admit to having are chiggers and Cheetos. Play in the woods blasting ducks or just run-of-the-mill varmints before the first freeze, and those little red bugs may crawl inside your socks or up your leg to the underwear waistband and gnaw on you for two weeks, usually when you're talking to another person. And there are racks of various brands of Cheetos in the grocery store, and that’s not because people don’t eat them. Real outdoorsy athletes often have signs of both inside their underwear. I know that’s not funny, but I don’t make the laws of nature.

Snippets - Cape boys' basketball plays Easton High of Maryland at 7 p.m., Friday, Dec. 28, at the Wicomico Civic Center Court 1.  Easton is 6-0, having outscored opponents by a total of 182 points. Cape will play Flowers High of Maryland at 4:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29.  The Jaguars are 5-2 on the season and ranked 1,603 in the country by Max Preps. Cape is ranked 2,950. What kind of ridiculous nonsense is that?

Five Cape wrestlers competed in the Beast of the East Tournament at the University of Delaware the weekend of Dec. 21. The wrestlers, their weight classes and records include Thomas Ott,  220 pounds, 2-2; Aaron Mattioni, 160, 3-2;  J.J. Currie, 152, 0-2; Austin Smith, 152, 2-2; and Sean Sheehan, 138, 1-2. Cape will wrestle at the Wetzel Classic in Hatboro-Horsham, Pa., Friday and Saturday, Dec. 28 and 29.

Go on now, git!