I was laughing with a friend trying to encourage her during a difficult issue she was having with a loved one. There was a breakdown in communication where the translation of intentions was completely twisted and deformed into the ugliest form of purpose.
I chuckled softly despite her apprehensions thinking to myself how much I’ve come to appreciate my ability to be able to not only travel the mental highways of the hurting but to also relate and understand them. Unfortunately to the inexperienced individual traveling through the desert of addictions, this rest stop would be like visiting a place called Crazy Town, USA.
In this scenic, rural development of the depressed dysfunctional and dejected, we find everything has been reversed: Kindness mistaken for weakness, rejection inspires desire, while love creates terror, devotion transforms into codependency, and anger is seen as strength.
The disturbing part is that the misfits that reside in this sick suburbia find nothing wrong with the bitter taste of their kool-aid. The food they eat in this vindictive vacation spot is full of the sweetest sugars, fried and fatty cholesterol guaranteed to decrease self-image as you increase your waistline. There is no exercise there mentally or physically building muscle, and wisdom is most taboo.
The mission statement of this metropolitan is to sacrifice, disable and discard truth, independence and self-worth. The insane inhabitants vow to recreate childhood dreams into a comfortable nightmare that people may complain about but never want to leave.
When communicating with an individual who mentally lives in Crazy Town, USA, we need to understand two very important things: 1. How long have they been living there? 2. How long do you plan on visiting them in this place? Both questions need to be answered to understand the depth of this diseased environment.
Understanding how long a person has lived in Crazy Town helps us to understand the amount of issues that have taken root in a person’s psyche. Anything we have been exposed to over a long period of time can become habitual which is why we are called creatures of habit. If the habit is detrimental like self-criticism, giving ourselves credit or a compliment becomes an alien conception only understood as science fiction. Dining on denial for several years result in an inability to recognize the truth creating our own reality designed to protect and defend our misguided mentality.
These safeguards and protocols are subconscious and conscious mechanisms developed to transform the small prison in our mind into a cozy, little efficiency apartment that avoids intimacy, challenge, or responsibility like a plague.
To know how long someone has been in Crazy Town, USA is to understand the gravity of the task in communicating with them and hopefully encouraging them to move out of this demented development. But first we have to set our own boundaries for how long we visit.
Visiting Crazy Town is only what we do when there is a loved one involved because total strangers who are insane just get pepper sprayed in this desert. The problem with loving the lost, who reside in this dead zone is that the longer we stay to influence them, the harder it becomes to not be infected ourselves.
I don’t believe the pure in heart will suddenly start shooting dope or be suicidal after a week in Crazy Town, but our deep sincerity and hope leaves us vulnerable to subtly being part of the problem and not the solution. Our love and compassion renders hard choices unbearably difficult when it means leaving our loved one in their own pain. Pity, love, fear, and anger mixes into a toxic superglue bonding us with the withdrawn. The connection fueled by guilt and grace reveals the real trap of Crazy Town, because you can visit anytime you want, but you will never be allowed to leave…
This is one of the dangers of travelling through the desert of addictions there are places that need and want you, loving your altruism and energy. Feeling the purpose of the poor in spirit, we reach out and hug the hopeless attempting to love the dysfunction out of them. The embrace is tremendously kinetic, full of passion, attitude and gratitude, but when we tire of giving and need the same in return we are horrified to understand that the sick don’t have anything healthy to give…
Healthy people need healthy people to support and reenergize each other. This is the simple math of recovery: Two Positives equals more energy, two negatives equal negative energy, one positive and one negative will keep things from ever changing stuck at ground zero. So when you want to give aid to those in the city of denial, pack a lunch and take an extra water bottle. Because I’m warning you to be aware of your own limited reserves, because you don’t want to get stuck after dark in Crazy Town and not have enough gas to leave.
Written to inspire the families, and individuals, victimized and scarred by the disease of addictions, who are tired of giving up their choice to change. A journal for the first 30 days of an individual's journey through the aftermath of their addictive behaviors.
To learn more about Desert of Addictions or to purchase the book, click here.