Hang like a horny dog

Darby Doodle is a Lab of Luxury. Given the proper stimulus he will lock in and latch on but he looks harmless enough just like his owner. BY DAVE FREDERICK
March 31, 2011


I am a person who sets short term goals then like a horny dog on a trouser leg I stay clamped until the mission is accomplished.

If I have a major talent it is that no matter how much or how many positive things I am doing and pursuing at a given frozen moment in time, I look like I’m doing nothing. I am the guy immersed in the conversation that is always interrupted by a third party person because it just can’t be that important if one of the dialoguers is Fredman. And if anyone has ever asked me “so what are you doing these days with all your time?” I always answer “not much really” because it is a “question asked but please don’t answer” mentality and I continue to learn this as people in my world drop off regularly during my no so simple answers to basic questions.

But I’m not sure when or why I became the target of “if he can do it anyone can.” It’s not that I represent everyman but rather it’s “look Big Loser Boy is riding the stationary bike why doesn’t he oil the chain and take it out of the bed of the pickup truck?”

Back in 2003 I was a teacher at Cape Henlopen , a fulltime sports editor for the Cape Gazette and knocking out a Masters Degree in Liberal Studies for the University of Delaware. I was sitting in the Baltimore Raven Stadium pressbox on a Monday night covering some lame game when the guy next to me asked,”what are you writing, you haven’t stopped since you sat down?”

I told him it was a paper for a biotechnology class at the University of Delaware, “In search of the gay gene” but at least I had a homeroom at Cape Henlopen High School at 8 a.m. the next morning.

Personally, I am the opposite of the arrogance-if he can do it  I can do it- often deferring to the talents of others freely admitting ‘I couldn’t do what you do in a hundred years, the next time you see me taking apart a garbage disposal will be the first time.”

But all seriousness aside, I used to tell my students, “how arrogant are some teachers that they walk into a room and think they are the smartest person in all subjects and can trump any talent, aptitude or skill level of any student."

I can hear the cheerleaders now “Fredman Fredman he’s our man, if he can do it, anyone can, so lets give him a great big ham.”