Pass me that hammer and chisel and power up the bone saw
Bone saw - Years ago, Eve Hoffman handed me a box of new-looking running shoes, asking if I could find worthy feet for them. I was happier than football coach Rex Ryan (Jets joke book foot fetish). Ivy League Eve had used the shoes in some graduate course field test of pronation and supination on runners' foot strike, and by the way I don’t know what I’m taking about. I have covered running for so long. I have seen young people grow into careers and actual jobs that pay money. I spoke to Eve, now 28, after the Jungle Jim’s 5K and remembered, “Weren’t you studying to be some kind of doctor?" She smiled, yes, and so being an intelligent person I asked her, “So what kind of doctor is you?” "Orthopedic surgeon,” she said, with a gentle smile. “No way, get out of town. Freaking hammers and chisels, needles and threads, and, my personal favorite, the bone saw?” Eve’s dad, Abe, is a forensic economist, an expert witness at the highest levels of corporate shenanigans. I’m dropping that line the next time a stranger asks me, “So what do you do?”
Two-way street - A job interview is a two-way street, but the people offering the job like to see applicants commit before the offer is pushed across the table. I had a job interview with Cape back in August 1975 that lasted all day and ended with my starving and freezing family of Susan, Dave and Carrie being picked up on Lewes Beach and delivered to the principal's office (Mike Mock). I was asked, “You want the job or what?” and I refused to commit. They said, “We will call you after Tuesday's school board meeting.” I didn’t want to come, but knew if offered the job I had to give it a go to accept the challenge. The fact I’m still here is just proof of how traumatic the experience was. I sometimes have a nightmare that I was transferred to Lake Forest where no one thought I was funny.
Hire a teacher/coach - Coaches who are teachers who need both jobs to join your school team are worth their weight in gold. If they’re good at both jobs, they won’t stay on the market for long. Many schools suffer from movement disorder, worried about offending special interests or a powerless teachers association. I’d say, if you find the best person for your kids, someone who will be a teacher and coach for 15 years, throw a net over them and power winch them into the boat. Lots of coaches are on the open market, but only some of them are any good.
No hatred in locker room - Haters don’t survive on sports teams and never have, even when the other aspects of society are losing their minds. Discovery of diversity is energizing and making new friends life-lasting. When these issues of sickness pop up in the greater society they are barely relevant to many of us who grew up in the culture of sports where we formed friendships based on face-to-face experiences. I would think soldiers who served together share that “band of brothers mentality” forever. Former Cape athlete Lorenzo Hopkins suggested this topic to me of how sports bring communities together.
Full-volume screamers - I watched a 25-minute girls' lacrosse game of rising 10th-graders where an incredibly loud and strong-voiced male coach yelled the entire game. And three officials, all under evaluation, said nothing and neither did their evaluators; everyone just had to endure endless noise from a man coaching a girls' game. All coaches need to be required to attend a coaching clinic once a year or how to teach, coach and relate to young people. I have never seen a chapter “Screaming is good.” And if your kids are properly coached up, they can make on-field decisions in real time. Isn’t that the whole idea of developing an athlete?
Snippets - I know what I like, but I don’t know the answers when it comes to how much time a multiple-sport athlete should spend on any one sport or if they even keep track. I know many three-sport athletes who I’ve interviewed three times in a school year and most give the same answer, “The sport I love the most is the one I’m playing at the moment.” You know what hoagie I like the best? “That’s right, the one I’m unwrapping.”
Go on now, git!
