Christmas Carol parodies and more

This part of the year is steeped in tradition, and so it is time for the Christmas carol parodies. 

Versions of these song spoofs have appeared in this column’s previous Christmas Week editions for more than 20 years.

Best wishes to you and yours for the holiday season!

Away in a Bunker
(As sung to "Away in a Manger")

Away in a bunker,
The little ball lay.
My tee shot went wide right,
Bad words did I say.

I looked at that golf ball,
down where it did lay,
It looked like a fried egg.
A safe shot? "No way."

The caddie was laughing,
My partners just smiled.
They knew that my trap shots
Were weak or too wild.

I swung with my sand wedge
The sand it did fly
The ball popped up also,
And rolled by my side.

I need some real guidance,
I need some help quick.
I can’t play this shot, so
I’m writing St. Nick.

Putting Woes
(As sung to "Silent Night")

Putt-ing woes!
Putt-ing woes!

All’s not calm, all’s not bright.
After three putts missed
I’m fit to be tied, 
The first two went short and
The last one just wide.
Make this fourth putt, oh please, please
Ma-ke this fo-urth putt, please.

We the Clubs of Callaway Are
(As sung to "We Three Kings of Orient Are")

We the clubs of Callaway are,
You will hit our drivers so far,
Many lofts for you to choose from,
No matter how bad you are.

CHORUS:
Oh, clubs of wonder, clubs of might,
Clubs with special features bright,
Selling hope for our next tee shot,
Guide us to the perfect drive.

Club Pros We Have Heard on High
(As sung to "Angels we have heard on high")

Club pros we have heard on high,
Shouting loudly o’er the range
And their students in reply,
Harken to their anxious strains.

CHORUS:
Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I’ll watch the ball for you.

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I will watch the ball for you.

The Pro Shop
(As sung to "Silver Bells")

See the pro shop,
Busy golf shop,
Decked in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.

Golfers laughing, players putting,
Buying clubs with a smile.
And at ev’ry sales counter you hear:

CHORUS:
Silver bells, silver bells,
It’s Christmas time in the pro shop.
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring,
Cash registers sing all day.

Here We Go A-Golfing 
(As sung to "Here we come a-caroling")

Here we go a-golf-ing
Among the fairways green;
Here we go a-wandering,
No bad shots to be seen:

CHORUS:
Love and joy come to you,
And to you fun golfing, too;
And God bless you and
Send you a happy New Year,
And God send you a happy New Year.

Finish with a flourish

Congratulations to Steve Kaminsky and Dan Stephens for their amazing pair of aces made Nov. 23 at The Rookery.

With their round beginning on the 10th hole due to frost delays, the two golfers came to the par three ninth hole for their last tee shots of the day. 

They finished with a flourish as both balls rolled into the cup.

The Rookery head golf pro Kyle Deas said during the post-round celebrations, someone checked online about the odds of two golfers in the same group making aces on the same hole. It is a reported 1 in 17 million. 

Consider golf gifts to help others

If you’re still stuck for a Christmas gift for someone, consider a donation in that person’s name to the First Tee of Delaware.

Delaware’s chapter has served thousands of children throughout the state, with significant increases in programming and attendance in southern Delaware and Maryland’s Eastern Shore. Using golf’s rules, standards and culture, First Tee helps instill core values and healthy life habits such as honesty, integrity, responsibility and judgment. 

To make a tax-deductible donation to First Tee of Delaware, call 302-384-8759 or go to www.thefirstteedelaware.org.

You might also consider supporting Youth on Course, a national-level golf charity aimed at supporting junior golfers’ playing opportunities.

The 501(c)(3) organization raises funds to subsidize green fee costs. Youth On Course golfers pay a reduced rate at member courses. Youth On Course money reimburses the member courses to make up the revenue differential. 

Mulligan’s Pointe and American Classic Golf Club are Cape Region participants.

For more information or to donate, go to https://youthoncourse.org/ways-to-give.