Fast Forward Friday

The popularity of “Throwback Thursday” on Facebook has waned a bit, but for years I could count on weekly pictorial trips down many memory lanes. If I wanted to see what a neighborhood friend looked like at age six, or a distant acquaintance as a little buckaroo in a cowboy hat—all I had to do was wait until Thursday!

I too played the game—two of my blog posts over the years were “Throwback Thursdays.” But today is the day AFTER Thursday, so to shake things up a bit, I thought I’d begin a new tradition. Welcome to “Fast Forward Friday!”

On FFF (that abbreviation reads like what you’d say when you hit your thumb with a hammer, but whatever), we dust off the old crystal ball and get a gander at the future (or at least, the future as we imagine it). Here are my predictions for the year 2050:

Mankind will hang on by a thread. We will frantically recycle, reduce emissions and embrace solar power, as we put down our weapons and love our fellow humans at last. We will probably all be living on a small patch of land in Nebraska, after East and West Coasts have been obliterated by sea level rises and uncontrollable fires. Cozy!

Social Media will still exist, but keyboards will be replaced by mind control. To misquote Descartes, “We think, therefore a Tweet appears.” We’ll spend our time reading each other’s minds, until we realize how dull other people’s thoughts are, then we’ll resume just dwelling on ourselves (back to normal, eh?)

So much for the world order! How will the Seyfried clan fare?

Sheridan (65) and Ya-Jhu (also 65) will still be playing and composing, zipping around in supersonic transport to international concert halls in seconds. The average audience attention span will have shrunk to seconds too, so their pieces will, of course, be very brief.

Evan (63) After a storied career as a Naval Officer/Campaign Finance Director/ Phlebotomist/Spelunker, Evan will pursue yet another doctorate, this time in Comparative Universes. Carry on, Ev!

Rose (61) Rose’s 2019 job producing interactive video content will prove prescient. By 2050, she will be CEO of 5 billion one-person companies, each providing compelling original material and interacting with every other company’s shows to beat the band.

Patrick (59) Pat will still be an Executive Chef, but now he will be not just inventing recipes, but creating entire new food groups. Who needs vegetables when you can sauté blergs instead?

Julie (56) Jules will have achieved her dream of owning a bed and breakfast, but she will also still be renting space to Broadway musicals. The resulting clever combo will make it possible for her B&B patrons to be served their morning coffee by Lin Manuel Miranda.

As for my grandchildren (present and future), whatever they do, I predict they will rock it.

Steve and I will be watching this, amused, from Heaven (or so I assume).

That’s my Fast Forward Friday! What’s yours?