Top 5 Non-Financial Planning Concerns for Retirees-(2) Social Isolation and Changing Relationships

Continuing our Top 5 series with non-financial reasons why some folks struggle in their retirement transitions. “Failure” in retirement does not necessarily mean having money issues. In fact, many retirees who are financially independent just don’t feel that they are “winning” in retirement. And one major reason is that things are just different than they had been for a very long time. And change can be hard.

2. Social Isolation and Changing Relationships

During our working years our jobs offered an opportunity for built-in social interaction on a daily basis. The classic notion of “water cooler conversations” was a real thing for many folks. Relationships formed at work often carried over into personal activities, sports teams and, for some of us (including me), marriage or other long-time personal relationships.

Once you leave that work environment you start to lose those connections, at least to those folks who were more work colleagues than friends. And then you can start to lose touch with friends, particularly if you have moved somewhere else, like the Delaware beach areas. And even if you try to keep relationships going with work friends and colleagues, you often find that you no longer have a lot of the same interests and you are not in the loop any longer on what is going on in their lives.

Without taking some action steps many people find that retirement can lead to reduced contact and loneliness. When I was stationed in the Omaha, Nebraska area while in the military, Jack Nicholson filmed a movie there called “About Schmidt” that dealt with a retirement transition that did not go well. It’s not a great movie but it might be worth watching to learn from his mistakes. In a similar vein, but with a better outcome, is a website and blog (and later a book) called the Retirement Manifesto [https://www.theretirementmanifesto.com/]. The author, Fritz Gilbert, took a very methodical approach to planning for his retirement and, while his ideas might not appeal to everyone, I think there are pieces that we can all use in our own retirement planning.

For married couples retirement is also a major life change that must be considered. With two working spouses maybe one was not ready to retire at the same time as the other. Or maybe there will just be too much time together without separate activities which can strain relationships. This strain can get to the point where marriages end after many years. There is an increasing number of so-called “Silver Divorces” among retirees that not only has a major personal impact on the couple, but also a significant financial one as well.

I am a financial advisor and retirement “Success Advocate,” and not a therapist or counselor. So if you are struggling with many of these issues there are professionals who can help you with them and give you tools to use to adjust to this major life transition. Among the recommendations given to my clients are being intentional about social planning, including such things as trying new activities out, perhaps joining clubs, becoming active in community groups, establishing new local friendships and working to maintain long-standing ones. All of these help you maintain emotional connections. Another great resource for you on this topic is a short TEDx talk by Dr. Riley Moynes titled “The Four Phases of Retirement.” He has a book of the same name as well. Just search for the TEDx talk and see what you think. If you are like me, after you watch it you will want to squeeze all the juice out of retirement—right into the Delaware state cocktail!

But in addition to that type of assistance, you may find you want or need guidance on the financial independence side of retirement. My background in estate, tax and financial planning, combined with coursework in retirement counseling, gives me some helpful insights and tools to work with clients to help them achieve their retirement goals and enjoy their new life.

Please reach out to me to learn more about what a specialized retirement-focused, fiduciary, fee-only financial advisor can do for you. You can start by visiting our website at www.SafeHarbor.financial where you will find information about our cash flow approach to retirement planning, the value of using a Retirement Success Advocate, and a list of our standard projects and fees. Or you can call Safe Harbor at 302-313-6644 or email us at info@safeharborfinancialadvisors.com for an initial no-cost, no-obligation assessment meeting.