All hail The Window!

September 22, 2016

A local psychotherapist who also writes a newspaper column recently published an amusing article about the popular practice of eating while standing up. According to this respected Ph.D., it is commonly believed that any food consumed while vertical – ideally while leaning over a sink – officially qualifies as a snack, and is therefore light and healthy. We could take that a step further and say that it applies equally to leftover fried chicken, ice-cold pizza and pork pies.

But my elation was short lived. The good doctor eventually concludes that vertical munching has no impact on the calorific consequences of that over-the-sink munch. Not even a little bit. In other words, food is food. Period.

Now wait just one darn minute! This young whippersnapper is obviously not well-versed in the fundamental laws of beach eating! It’s a well-known fact that food ordered through a window – while standing up – does not count toward your daily maximum requirement of tasty stuff. In fact, nowhere in the Weight Watchers point system do they specifically refer to “window food.” So there.

Another hallowed principle of coastal consumption is that window food tastes good precisely because it’s handed to you through a window. Want proof? I have a friend who has been a long-time fan of Grotto Pizza. (You know how people can be about their pizza!) When Joan and Nick Caggiano took a sledgehammer to their Rehoboth Avenue Nicola’s – thus creating the proverbial pizza pass-through – my friend waxed rhapsodic (and we all know how painful that can be) that Nicola’s must have changed their pizza. She couldn’t get enough of it. Ahh, the power of The Window.

What day on the sand is complete without the obligatory pilgrimage to Gus & Gus’ Place? Many a nor’easter has done its best to shutter that window, but every spring it blooms like a high-achieving crocus. And what about Thrasher’s warm, peanutty fries? Or Kohr Bros. Frozen Custard? Or savory crepes at Café Papillon? Or good flavors with gross names at The Ice Cream Store? Or crunchy filets from Go Fish! – yup: window, window, window, window … and window.

Then of course there’s Dolle’s. That homemade salt water taffy and caramel corn passes through a window that’s certainly seen its share of Rehoboth history. So, if that head shrinkin’ columnist is to be believed, all this vertical chomping may not be quite as virtuous as previously suspected. On the other hand, you’re at the beach during the best time of the year. Stand up to the naysayers and treat yourself.

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