Bad Santa too good to be real

Bad Santa - Jack Vassalotti, dressed as Bad Santa for the Run with Santa 5K at Cape Henlopen State Park Dec. 10. Jack ran with an empty beer can while hunched over with a grumpy and gravelly hangover voice. I applauded Jack’s effort, but that relentlessly positive guy as sleazeball Santa was funny, just not believable. Somehow it reminded me of two of my former track athletes – one white, one black – who are both great guys who worked undercover in the drug world for the Delaware State Police. Neither of these guys ever drank, smoked or got close to drug-talking jargon. I remember asking one, ”just how dumb are these mooks that they don’t suspect you?” They both answered the same, “they are incredibly dumb, they are drug dealers.” I know what you’re thinking, “how did we go from Santa to drug dealers, yet you believe in flying reindeer?” 

Look alikes - A photo of Carson Wentz next to Prince Harry circulated last week and Philly fans found it funny. Now a look-alike photo of Nick Foles next to actor Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite, which fans find funny. Foles is a stud athlete with an impressive resume, including throwing seven touchdown passes in a single game and making the Pro Bowl. I think he’ll do well in the current Eagles system under Doug Pederson. Who knows? Foles has a month and three games to get ready for a home playoff game. Play for the bye, then a home game against lowest surviving seed. Win just one and you’re playing for the NFC title at home and a trip to the Super Bowl. Sometimes big moments come when you least expect them. Vote for Pedro!

Weigh in - Go ahead and weigh in on who should be the next Cape football coach now that Bill Collick has officially submitted his letter of resignation. Public school systems are locked in by contract on salaries for teachers and coaches, plus Cape is unlikely to “create” a job for a football coach. It all gets quickly complicated and there’s a lot of misdirection. Like a Wing T offense, that is so 30 years ago.

Tubby Time - An intercom call to my classroom: “Coach Tubby Raymond is here to see you. We are sending someone up to cover your class.” I went down and found the University of Delaware football coach in a side conference room. He stood up, “Hi, Fredman. I’m the Philly Phanatic’s father. He’s younger, better looking, better known and richer.” We sat down. He owned up that he was coming to his place at the beach and by visiting Cape he could write off the trip. I said, “I’m not on the football staff, coach.” He said, “Coach Bill Muehleisen (Delaware freshman) told me if I stopped to talk to you, I’d get the straight scoop.” Years ago at the 50th Delaware Sportswriters and Broadcaster banquet, I took a picture of Tubby with former Phillies great pitcher Robin Roberts. Tubby said, “I need a copy of that,” which I gave him, but now I can’t find mine. Coach Tubby Raymond, a true Renaissance man, an artist in action, died last week at the age of 92. The Phanatic at the funeral would be poetic in a T.S. Eliot “This is the way the world ends” kind of way. Tubby would find that funny, I think.

Snippets - Tracy Stallard, former Red Sox pitcher who served up a fastball that Roger Maris hit into the right field bleachers of Yankee Stadium for his 61st home run the last day of the 1961 season to break Babe Ruth’s record, died Dec. 6 in Kingsport, Tenn., at 80 years old. The Yankees won that game 1-0. Stallard was also the losing pitcher for the Mets in 1964, when Jim Bunning threw a perfect game for the Phillies on Fathers Day. Bunning has nine children and 35 grandchildren. Amaya and Aya Daisey are freshmen twins at Cape, and this winter the girls are running track and swimming. In a recent 86-84 win at St. Andrew’s, Aya won the 50 freestyle and 100 butterfly, while Amaya won the 100 freestyle. Both girls were on the winning 200 freestyle relay. The Sussex Academy girls’ basketball team coached by Cody White won the school’s first ever game a 55-46 win over Milford. Abigail Hearn had 21 points for the Seahawks, including 11-of-12 from the free throw line. Lindsey Guida won the 50- and 100-meter freestyle for the Sussex Academy swim team in a 126-45 win over Indian River. The Seahawk swimmers are 2-0. Go on now, git!