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Don’t be bird-brained about feeding your feathered friends

August 16, 2020

Birds are an important part of our life around this area. There are all sorts of bird-watching clubs and bird rescue groups to help you enjoy the natural beauty of these creatures. 

However, in the summer, a lot of bird feeders swing empty. It’s because most people simply don’t realize that birds like to be fed year-round. They think of it as a winter need.

But birds are wise beyond their years when it comes to eating. It’s not just about flying over someone’s property and not being able to stop for a bite. It’s actually part of their mission statement to make sure every lot owner has a bird feeder.

Just as there are protests today, birds also conduct meetings and rallies for action and moral support. “OK, everyone, let’s line up and force these people to get to the home improvement store and pick up some housing for us. Cardinals are up front, next the yellow finches, and are there any orioles here? Raise your hands. Redwing blackbirds, you’ll have to do.” 

As soon as they spot the owner outside any house that has an empty bird feeder, the bird lineup uses their subliminal technique. This consists of flying around and singing:

“This land is your land, this land is my land, From California to the New York island, From the redwood forest to the gulf stream water, This land was made for you and me.” 

If that doesn’t make you run to your nearest home improvement store to buy something made in the USA, I don’t know what will. 

It was at one of those stores that I found the mother lode of birdhouses. I was immediately drawn to the replica of a Nantucket New England-style home. I watch a lot of HGTV. It had floor-to-ceiling windows, was hand-painted, and beautiful wooden bushes surrounded the front. Yes, this was the American birdhouse I dreamed of owning. You’ll find most of the new birdhouses are built better than the home where you currently reside.

And now for the bird food. You’ll need a back brace and a U-Haul truck. Birdseed comes in 40-pound bags, but there usually is plenty of help at the loading dock.

I went home and filled the bird feeder. It was very exciting. I also learned to drink coffee, since most bird watchers love to say, “As I was having my morning coffee, I saw a purple-crested whatever ...”

And so, I waited and waited and waited. No birds. Perhaps word hadn’t gotten out yet. I waited the next day. Nothing. I couldn’t figure out what the problem was.

And then I heard the tune:

“Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam, And the deer and the antelope play, Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, And the skies are not cloudy all day. Home, home on the range ...”

Of course! The bird feeder was politically incorrect. It was too showy, too rich and way out of my league. 

So, I got back in the car and headed to the home center. After perusing up and down the aisles, I found it. The birdhouse was on sale. It was just a brown-shingled, Amish-looking midcentury house with a few shutters, one of which was hanging down the side.  Perfect. I picked up a bag of vegan, latte, low-foam birdseed and I was golden.

It was a huge hit. Yes, birds need to be fed year-round, but you also have to know your constituents.

  • Nancy Katz has a degree in creative writing and is the author of the book, "Notes from the Beach." She has written the column Around Town for the Cape Gazette for twenty years. Her style is satirical and deals with all aspects of living in a resort area on Delmarva.

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