Fast-walking Adele Wagner circles 5K course in 31:25

March 17, 2023

Groucho walking - Back when I put together a streak of walking a hundred miles a month for five straight years, I prided myself as a cool walker. People using canes or sliding walkers on tennis balls chased by retrievers would pass me. One afternoon, I went to the Cape track where I own a personal best 6:05 mile to see how fast I could walk a mile, no matter if I looked like Groucho Marx in “A Day at the Races.” My time was 13:30, and I had given all I had. At the Lucky Leprechaun 5K March 12, Adele Wagner, 67, walked the course like an Irishman fleeing the bar tab in 31:25. “Incredible,” said Race Director Tim Bamforth. “I just had to check with her to make sure it wasn’t a mistake, but she’s the real deal.”

House of Pain’s Jump Around Song/Cameron Crazies - Not one and done, but four and done. Students, whose parents pay full price, are avid fans, but they get a degree as a prize. The college system of athletics is madness every day. We all live in a world of anonymous weebles jumping up and down or throwing down dunks followed by a glare. We are watching the future leaders of America. Anyone who stayed in college and actually went to class knows that cultures change from underneath the old guard, like Donald Trump and Joe Biden aren’t affecting cultural change; it's those kids jumping around during March Madness. I’d like to know who they are because when I eavesdrop on their music and conversations, I realize I had to get old to become the child left behind. 

Who are these people? I look at the talent in the women’s and men’s NCAA basketball tournaments, and speaking out loud, I ask myself, “Who are these people? Where does all this talent come from? What is the system? Is it AAU or something more ordinary like the middle school and high school systems?” I honestly believe that DNA is the No. 1 factor in determining future athletic success. And can we stop coaches from saying, “I make them better people, which makes them better players?” I’ve known some nasty jokers who were great players; guys who would low bridge their own grandfather on the front end of a fast break. Seriously, let's figure this out just once – who are these people?   

Hazing and humiliation - I was at high school football camp my sophomore year in 1962. There was a required hazing ritual, a rite of passage that involved Winter Green dumped in a jock strap followed by crawling through a gauntlet of spitters and kickers. I refused and a senior said to my older brother Moose, “You better talk to your little punk brother.” Moose said, “Good luck; you talk to him.” None of that happened to me because I was ready to fight to the death before giving in to such degradation and stupidity. My brother, of course, did not participate. I just read a long New York Times article about a history of hazing and degradation as part of the Harvard University women’s ice hockey team. I only mention it here because I was sure we as a nation were done with hazing, but perhaps we all need a reminder. Harvard? Yes, even smart people suffer dumb stuff. 

World Baseball Classic - The tournament is just the best, as baseball truly is a worldwide sport, but its growth development remains a mystery. I think all development scenarios are organized by adults and agents with more scouts than a summer jamboree at Camp Ockanickon. 

Snippets - What do Kevin Durant and Greg Oden have in common? A bad foot. Oden was picked first in the 2007 NBA Draft, with Durant taken second. Ella Rishko, Cape’s 2022 Athlete of the Year, has 10 goals and two assists for 12 points for the Virginia Tech Hokies lacrosse team. Ella’s first cousin, Mikey Frederick, the 2022 Cape Male Athlete of the Year, has seven goals and six assists for the Mercer Bears men’s lacrosse team. Tucker Brown (Worcester Prep/Rehoboth Beach) has 11 goals and one assist for the St. Joseph’s Hawks men's lacrosse team. Sawyer Walker (Cape) has five goals and one assist for Xavier University, along with nine draw controls. Kealey Allison (Indian River) has five goals and two assists for Division III unbeaten Saint Leo’s out of Florida. The University of Virginia baseball team is 14-1. Jake Gelof (Rehoboth Beach) is batting .339 with five home runs. Gelof is listed as a junior, which means he is eligible for the MLB draft in late June. Christopher Newport baseball is 15-5 as starting shortstop Josh Reinhold (Cape) is batting .343 with 12 RBIs and a home run. For information on Delaware Tech softball and baseball rosters, go to I was scheduled for carpal tunnel surgery on my right hand March 15, but as a writer and photographer, just how many hands do I need? And there’s always artificial intelligence. Go on now, git!


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