Murphy and his Laws

July 5, 2018

I am always on the lookout for interesting aspects of golf that most medium-to high-handicappers can relate to when they reflect on their game. Here are Murphy's 10 laws of golf that you may have encountered along your never-ending journey for perfection.

You finally shoot your best round of golf and feel great about your game and can't wait to tee it up again. The very next round you shoot a terrible score.

Brand-new golf balls are attracted to water, trees, sand and cart paths.

One of your buddies, (who plays with a high handicap) thinks he is a qualified instructor, especially after you drive your ball into the water or three putt a green.

Every par three, no matter where you travel to play golf, has a secret desire to humiliate you.

The shorter the hole, the more humiliation you suffer.

Every birdie you make will be offset by a triple bogey, sometime during the round.

Sand has magic powers. It can make you talk to yourself numerous times during your round.

Wet sand is even more powerful! It grates on your soul.

At the farthest point from the pro shop your cart will have a problem and die or (Law-7a) your GPS keeps giving you the wrong hole distance and wants you to call ahead for lunch.

The player you hate to lose to in your regular foursome will beat you on the final hole by one stroke.

Your score is great for the first 15 holes, but the last three holes in your round will adjust your score to match your handicap.

When you get home and unpack your clubs, you urgently call the pro shop to see if anyone turned in your sand wedge, which you left near the trap on the 18th green.

Score yourself on how many laws you have experienced.

1-3: Golf is still fun for you on a regular basis, but you need to buy a cold beverage from the cart girl at least three to four times a round.

4-6: You should consider miniature golf as a way to still enjoy the game and reach for a new level of skill.

Concentrate on the clown's mouth, a hole in one may be in your future!

7-10: You should take up bowling, it's cheaper than golf, you can rent your shoes, the ball comes back to you and you push a button, when you want a cold beverage delivered to your air-conditioned foursome area.

Important golf facts you can't live without!

The average size of an 18-hole golf course is 50 acres.

The winning golfer in a PGA tournament receives 18% of the purse. The golfer who finishes in last place receives .02%

The Llanymyneck Golf Club in Wales has fifteen holes on the home course, two in England and one on the border.

The word divot means "piece of turf" in the Scots language.

In 1986, Bernard Langer, winner of the 1985 Masters, selected wienerschnitzel for the Masters Champions main dinner entrée.

Just in case you happen to win the Masters someday, and want wienerschnitzel, it is a piece of fried breaded veal or pork, usually served with a sauce or gravy.

Ed Furgol, the winner of the 1954 U.S. Open, sustained a terrible arm injury as a teen which made is left arm approximately six inches shorter than his right arm.

During WWII, the British golf courses had special temporary rules of play.

One of which was, "a ball lying in a bomb crater may be lifted and dropped no nearer the hole without penalty.

19th Hole Trivia

Just In Case You Missed It.

• John Daly has withdrawn from the U.S. Senior Open after the USGA denied his request to use a cart during the tournament. He claims he has a bad knee, which prevents him from walking the course.

• Spearfish, South Dakota golfer, Lawrence Walters died in early June due to a rattlesnake bite while playing golf at Elkhorn Ridge Golf Course. He was looking for his ball in tall grass, when the snake bit him on the ankle. The course plans to post more signs warning golfers of potential danger of snakes.


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