Time to re-grip your ball retriever

Welcome to the 2015  Beach Paper. Wow, what a wild winter and crazy spring. Snow, sleet, rain, wind and sub-freezing temperatures - and that was on a good day. If you were able to play your favorite course more than two times in the past six or seven months, then you should receive the “Frozen” trophy or at least the DVD.

Alas, as the Scottish golfer Old Tom Morris once said, “All good things come to an end.” And spring weather should be upon us now. And if you haven’t started to think about golf, now is a good time to write a checklist.

Physical fitness: As a former physical education teacher, I know from experience that the first order of business is to start mild stretching exercises and try to get those dormant winter muscles into tiptop shape before you head out for your first round of the year.

Start out slowly. Try to get off the couch using two hands and progress to one hand, then no hands, to help those abdominal muscles take shape. I can’t promise a six-pack, but you can at least shoot for the quarter keg look.

Next, try to get the back muscles loose with some toe touches, but if you can’t reach your toes, then try knee touches and work your way down as the season progresses.

Arm strength is a must to hit those long, straight drives early in the year, so while you are in a hot shower trying to relieve the pain in your back from knee touches, do some two-handed six-to-eight inch wall pushups.

Equipment check:  Before heading out to the range or your first round of the year, it is important to check your equipment and make sure everything, as astronaut John Glenn once said is, “A-OK.”

Step one, if you stored your shoes in the garage for the fall and winter; make sure nothing has taken up residence in either of them, such as a small rodent, snake, or better yet a “big black spider” who also laid eggs as a thank you for a snug winter.

Next, pull out all your clubs and check the grips, since you don’t ever use your 3 or 4 iron (but carry them to look cool). Those should be in great shape. Move on to the 5 through sand wedge and consider having the local pro re-grip them with the latest high-tech grips to really impress your friends. But don’t forget the two most important clubs in your bag: your putter and your ball retriever. It is a no brainer to re-grip your putter, because the hand pressure from missing three-foot putts last year has left deep indentations the entire length of the handle.

I referred to the ball retriever as a club, only because you use that more than your 3 or 4 iron, so check your pride at the pro shop door and ask the pro to re-grip this necessary evil as well.

Balls and tees: Now for the fun part of playing golf, buying balls and tees for the first outing. If you’re like me, your bag has a loose assortment of tees numbering anywhere from 3 to 300. Some have the name of my eye doctor or dentist, while others are broken or chewed off to use on par 3 holes. Go ahead and pick up another bag of 600 to get you through fall.

Now the real fun begins: Picking out the right ball for your swing and then wondering why you are paying big bucks for a dozen which you will lose in the first two rounds of the year. This is no exaggeration: I recently saw an ad that guarantees (that’s right, guarantees), a ball which will not slice or hook when teed up for play (small print: 75% of the time). It was designed by a former engineer who designed balls for a major golf ball company.  The ad also states that the ball is illegal in any USGA event. At two dollars a ball, it should also hop into the ball washer, wash itself and then tee itself up on the tee box.

19th Hole trivia

• Old Tom Morris is not to be confused with Young Tom Morris, his son.

• In 1868, Young Tom Morris recorded the first hole-in-one in the Scottish Open.

Check out my fine art photography website at genebleilephotography.com.