What happened to all the good ol’ boys with hydraulic scoops?

I have discovered a problem shared by others. When I admit that sports, music and entertainment celebrities attending South Beach power parties running up to the Super Bowl have totally alienated me from all things “super,” I’m sure I’m not alone. And I’m also not alone in enjoying what was a good game with the Saints winning (a nice story after the entire Katrina disaster), it’s just that now I’m ready to move on. All I have to say are the words “Ashton and Demi,” and I know my life as a sportswriter is in jeopardy. I’m ready to ask: What happened to all the good ol’ boys with hydraulic scoops on the front of their Fords? The Super Bowl of snowstorms slammed us Saturday, and now another one is looming and I have to ride ruts to the main road that is like a track for trains running in both directions with no flag people.

Baskett coach - I have met and spoken with Hank Baskett when he was with the Eagles, and kicked it with him a year ago when he attended an ALS benefit at Chickie and Pete’s for Cousin Larry O’Rourke. Hank was waived by the Eagles (ironic that he’s a good guy with a name like Baskett who drops balls), ended up with the Colts and then married reality star Kendra Wilkinson. I have no clue who Kendra Wilkinson is, but I’d throw her out of the boat for a 30-pack and so would all real guys if we are to believe the Bud Lite commercials. The onside kick to start the third quarter bounced off his helmet, because like me, God would rather watch Comedy Central than some over-hyped Super Bowl. Hank wouldn’t take questions after the game, but I would ask him: “If your dog and your wife were standing on the edge of a cliff, who would you save?”

Weight allowance - You saw all the shoppers stocking up on nonessential foodstuffs prior to the snowstorm because you were right there with them…twice. If you are a person who likes to keep his weight plus or minus a pound or two, and likes to go to the gym to help keep balanced, I ask the question: Did you weigh in prior to the storm and will you weigh out? I really don’t care about us non-wrestlers but think about those poor scholastic guys and the compassionate committees who may decide to give everyone a two-pound allowance to account for a slight weight gain during this unanticipated igloo cooling-off period. I know of a 112-pound teenager who went to 119 in three days. That is impressive. Back in my football lineman days we would weigh out before Thanksgiving and weigh in upon return. Massive weight gain was held in high regard. A tackle whose nickname when he was in shape was “Hog Body” spun the “Holy Toledo” scale for a 23-pound gain in just four days.  He won a double-box everything, heavily weighted down Sicilian pizza with extra grease and refused to share, showing a personality trait also held in high regard.

Snippets - B.J. Joseph of Rehoboth Beach had a super Super Bowl weekend as his Milford basketball team beat Cape Friday, then his beloved Saints won their very first Super Bowl. B.J has been the Saints guy since I’ve known him, which is too long.

He sent me a picture of himself and all his Saints paraphernalia or is that memorabilia because he is just that guy. It’s time to reload for the next storm.