I’m a Poet! And I Know It!

I’ve been reading tons of poetry lately, most of it pretty good. While I wrote a library-load of poems in my youth, with a renaissance during my bipolar crisis, I do not, generally, wax poetic. 

I much prefer other literary forms--personal essay, Op-Ed, grocery list. But having consumed a whole lotta rhymes recently, to say nothing of pages-long free verse epics, I feel inspired, and empowered, to throw my Shakespearean hat in the ring once more, and see what develops!

But how to select from the smorgasbord of poetic choices?

I considered penning limericks, or villanelles, or cinquains, before settling on two: the Japanese haiku form, and the sonnet.

The haiku’s plusses include: brevity (17 syllables total) focus (nature, or a specific, vivid moment in time), and an undeniable cool factor.

The sonnet is a bit of a show-off ("I'm cleverer! Read me!" ) but I I feel like it’s more of a legit poem, right? I mean, who goes around bragging that they have a haiku memorized? Whereas sonnetizing is pretty darned impressive! I will rise to the ABAB CDCD EFEF GG challenge!

Shall we embark then, my verse-loving friends?

HAIKU WHILE-U-WAIT  

Forgotten milk in the fridge

Well past its expiration date

Gone from drinkable to edible

Manhattan’s soot-covered snow mounds

NY kid me thought

Every snowman was filthy dirty

My son forages,

Then sautés his mushroom finds.  

Enjoy them! I’ll pass

Loved Wild Kingdom,

Mutual of Omaha!

But I went with Progressive

ROMANTIC SONNET 

My love for you is like a first-class flight

With champagne cocktails and no baggage fees

Like Magic Kingdom fireworks at night

Like endless boneless wings at Applebee's

My passion is as strong as Crazy Glue

That I spilled (oops!) onto your brand-new rug

The carpet is forever stuck on you,

As I am stuck as well! Let’s have a hug!

I cling to you, my object of desire,

Like Cling Wrap on a pack of burger meat

My adoration burns like a grease fire

From frying pork chops at too high a heat

I’m out of words and so I close, you see

Now it’s your turn to write your love for me

BREAKUP SONNET

I waited for your poem. It never came.

So much for rhyming what was in my heart!

That was a waste of time, and quite a shame

I’ll just take my thesaurus and depart.

No point in saying sorry--it’s too late!

I’m off to find a man who’s worth the work.

I’m off to find a much more grateful date

Than YOU, you boor! You clod! You dud! You jerk!

I’ve learned my lesson. I will never share

My writing talents with another guy.

I’m done with love! I vow, I pinky-swear!

No more the joy, no more the anguished cry!

But wait—Is that a sonnet that I see?

All’s forgiven! (if your poem’s for me)!

Woo hoo! Going forward, every single blog post will be in iambic pentameter. Promise!

Hey! Where are you going?