Kids are naturally cool don’t ask them to perform

Kids are cool - Someone once said to me, “little kids seem to like you, Fredman. Why is that?” I answered, “because I wouldn’t care if they didn’t.” Kids don’t like a giant helium-headed adult filling up the sky obstructing the clouds and asking a bunch of stupid questions like a hybrid Mr. Rodgers and Captain Kangaroo. There’s a soulfulness below the surface in all children. You look for it, but never summon the spirit. Lily and the Leopard is such a great photo. I only asked her, “is that a cat?” And she said, “it’s a leopard.” Sunday at the Father’s Day 5K, I caught Shiloh O’Grady, a 9-year-old Seashore Striders runner, finishing her 5K in 29 minutes. Shiloh has the look and name and a focused attitude that just meld together. And 6-year-old William Stauffer, gets low fives three times, for 15 total, on the way to finishing his 5K. There were more Stauffers in the race than in the freezer at Food Lion.

Name recognition - A runner who looked like he’d be riding with Eli Wallach in a Clint Eastwood movie crossed the finish line at the Father’s Day 5K in 39:28. I called out his name “Thurlow Cunliffe!” Later, Thurlow, who is 68, brought his 14-year-old son Jeremy over to meet me. Thurlow goes back to the local running scene of the ’70s. He teaches English in Nicaragua since like forever. Each summer, Thurlow - and Jeremy - spends two months in Rehoboth. I asked Jeremy, “are you fully bilingual or have you not understood a single word your dad has said over the last 14 years?” Jeremy did say there were things he liked about both countries and there were no negatives. We Americans seldom “comprende’” that America is a great place to visit but not everyone wants to stay here. Same goes for Philly to Sussex County and back.  

ITO! I watched the U.S. Open Golf Championship from Pebble Beach, a magnificent vista along the Pacific Ocean, and wondered if I could break 500 for 18 holes and if I could pack enough golf balls in my bag. And I concluded the green-draped bleachers were populated with wanker/spankers who yelled like Falconers at golf balls in flight. I mean seriously, “get in the hole,” who says that?  But one guy yelled “ITO,” just the letters, and if I had been next to him, it would have taken all my impulse control not to elbow him in the neck.

Mishearing - Hearing acuity starts to go as you age. The column is fine, just sometimes messages are muddled, so your brain, based on a lifetime of congregating like thoughts, fills in the spaces. I took a group photo of some women prior to the SoDel Cares 5K June 15, then asked “so what is this group?” They said, “Calcified 5K,” and I thought “how clever. Can I join?” Actually they said, “Couch to 5K,” but, really, I liked my version better. And at the end of the race when my compadre in the “Linemen for Life Club” Scott Kammerer was happily walking to the finish line, I was going to ask Scott if he was following the Chair and Half to 5K program because that’s the way we linemen get after each other, but the reality is I can’t even photograph an entire 5K without a blue chair respite.  

Snippets - This is Blue/Gold All-Star week. The game will be played Friday night at the Tub at the University of Delaware. The Gold team will scrimmage at Milford at 5 p.m., Wednesday night. Scattered thunderstorms are in the forecast through Thursday. The Beach Blast girls’ lacrosse tournament is June 21-23. The venues are Cape Henlopen High School and behind the Lewes School and Shields Elementary on Savannah Road. The Eastern Shore Lacrosse Club Pirates will have a full slate of teams along with Greene Turtle and Saltwater Dolphins. But if you’re talking Cape Region lacrosse boys and girls, there are players on teams playing in tournaments every weekend. Little League baseball and softball tournaments begin shortly, reigniting the town ball versus travel ball debate and what I describe as free agent loyalties. The Phillies got clocked in Atlanta. I still think manager Gabe Kapler’s android personality is not suited for the grit and grime of a pennant race. Where is reliever Ryan Duren, who threw 100 mph, was legally blind (20/200) and often pitched  hungover? A league leader in wild pitches and hit batsmen, a real guy, an intimidator. The Phillies bullpen places the emphasis on bull. Not the players’ fault. Teach them to compete. Go on now, git!