Staying in your lane for two laps is too long

Dumb, don’t like it - I have worked my entire life around teenagers, some of whom are now 60 years old. Sociologists call it a “plausibility structure,” meaning however those around you see the world seems plausible to you. I watched two 4-by-200-meter high school relays in the last week – one at Sussex Central and the other at Milford – and it was assigned lanes all the way. I thought, “I don’t like it. What is this, the Penn Relays? It’s just dumb!” I don't want races to be pure; I want them to be wild. I want the third runner cutting in. I want mayhem in the exchange zone, I’d like to see bodies and batons flying into the infield. I want crazy in the house. Racing in lanes is just lame. And what’s with Lane 1 in a one-lap race? Who ever won a race from there? Christopher Taylor at the Jamaican Junior Championships in 2016 ran 45.8 seconds when he was 15 years old. Lane 1 is not even used at the Olympics in laned events, because it is considered the worst lane on the track. Sometimes dumb actually is just plain dumb. 

See it and be it - People who hallucinate and hear voices learn not to share because those around them will either think they are crazy or worse, a purveyor of boring anecdotes. I stepped on the Milford track Wednesday afternoon just like I did as Coach Fred in 1976. Back then, Cape was chasing Dover for the Henlopen Conference crown. Legendary hall of fame runners like Ukee Johnson, Henry Boss, Ron Jackson and Mike Meade ran for Bob Neyland, the only coach over 10 years against whom I did not have a winning record. But I had a stallion who could go at post time named Garrison Duncan from West Rehoboth. He could not only run like a horse, but whinny like Mister Ed. Garrison won the 100-yard dash at the Henlopen Conference Championships after declining to do a warm-up lap, saying, “I can’t make it all the way around this big track.”   

Throwing legs in - If Cape 170-pound senior Carson Kammerer gets you down on the mat, he is throwing in his legs. I don’t understand a “figure four'' when you have only two legs, but I also don’t understand the command “Don’t let go of the Turk,” because I ain't trying to catch one. Carson had his curved femur broken and straightened after last season, and before that, multiple surgeries on his legs kept him home to start the school year, so they got him a bulldog – again. Ironies all over the place. If you look deeply into Carson’s soul, you will see pride after a win, and it’s personal. In the words of singer Rod Stewart, “Every picture tells a story, don’t it?”  

Boo your mom - Rony Perez is a great kid, all 113 pounds of him. He was holding on in his bout at Caesar Rodney against Cole Moffett trying not to get majored or pinned. Rony lost an 8-2 decision. During the match, he had a leg cramp and got a medical timeout. He drank water, feeling those good hydrations. “I lost three pounds for this match, so my body was cramping,” Rony told me after the match, adding, “Did you get any pictures of me?” During the break in the action, an adult male voice in the stands clearly said “boo,” which is as dumb as actually saying “moo.” A Cape fan responded clearly, “Boo your mom!” Spirit of sportsmanship – sometimes that pregame speech just doesn’t land in the stands. 

VIP pass - Back in the Bobby Jacobs era of Slam Dunk 1, I had a VIP pass, which meant at halftime and between games I could go to the VIP room and eat free food. “Sure, slice me off a slab of beef. And a scoop of crab imperial.” And then half the gym got up between games. I told Bobby, “You ain’t a VIP if everyone in the gym is one; you just a common ordinary person out by the Grotto’s truck standing in line for a slice.” “Excuse me, sir, do you have a rewards card?” “No, what am I, a bounty hunter?” 

Snippets - Washington at Philadelphia this Sunday, a pair of 6-7 NFC East teams with a chance to make the postseason as a wild card. The bigger question is, do you really want a playoff game or is it better just to pack it in and wait until next year? I’ll be rooting for the Eagles, but I like the Washington story. The Eagles are seven-point favorites. The NFL offers all kinds of insurance benefits to players, so please get Jake from State Farm off my television. Go on now, git!