Cape girls’ lacrosse reconfigures, chasing 11th state title

Reconfiguration - The 2019 Cape girls’ lacrosse team practiced on the Champions Stadium turf March 2 in wet dog misty weather. Ten seniors were lost to graduation, including six who were first- or second-team all-state – Lindsay Monigle, Mallory Jones, Annie Judge, Katie Frederick, Victoria Lockwood and Jody Boyer. Returning all-state goalie Vienna Iacona decided not to play lacrosse her senior season. But the motto for the girls’ lax program is “we don’t reload, we reconfigure.” Players from an undefeated, once-tied JV team will compete for spots on a deep roster that includes 11 players off last year’s roster who either started or saw primetime action led by first-team all-stater Alia Marshall. Alia will be joined on the midfield by Emily Monigle, Jackie Cannon, Meredith Lockwood, Anna Stancofski and Cammy Baldwin. Jillian Seker and Talbot Buck are returning starters on defense. Sawyer Walker and Lola Messick return on attack, where Chloe Schaeffer returns after missing her junior year with a foot injury. Vivian Lynn, just a sophomore, will get the call in goal, and she is the real deal and ready to go. Cape has a 124-game winning streak against Delaware opponents, and last season against seven Henlopen Conference teams, they had a goal differential of 129-10.    

Incongruity Syndrome - One day I just quit drinking. I don't know which day or which year, but it was a relatively long time ago. Sometime before Christmas, I started a diet to get ready for my yearly physical that I only show up for every three years. I've lost weight, but I don't know how much because I never weighed myself in the beginning. The only reason I even embarked on a diet of restraint is because I didn't want my longtime doctor and friend Jeff Heckert asking me, "what, have you joined the Flying Burrito Brothers Reunion Tour?” I recently walked 100 miles a month for five straight years, logged in every day's walk, kept the books, then I just stopped because ... I don't really know. I recently described my current state of mind as "happy depression." I can spend two days in a row and not leave the house and I'm happy about it. I think I discovered Incongruity Syndrome. My memoir will be, "The Man Who Made No Sense."

How much do you make? It’s a rude question not asked in polite company. “None of your freaking business” is a rude answer, appropriate for an impolite inquiry. Lewes and Rehoboth are stocked like fish in Block House Pond with citizens who live beyond their means, but we don’t ask them, ‘”how do you live in a million dollar house, but you ain’t got no job?” I don’t want to know what anyone makes and that goes for Bryce Harper and Nick Foles to college coaches who endorse shoes that sometimes come apart during games. Full-fledged free agency inside the monopoly of professional sports is an awkward arrangement while college sports exploit blue-chip athletes with free educations to prestigious universities that cost $70K a year. I no longer know who to envy from whom to feel sorry for. I just don’t understand how my Comcast bill is $300 a month so I can follow sports on television. There are those who play – they know what’s up – while those getting played are the last to know.

“Leibniz Law” (Philosophy 101) - No two objects have exactly the same properties. I’m thinking of the culture of individual sports and how each is different. I think the one with the most zealots is field hockey. Those athletes seem to always be playing for some championship tournament title in some state, indoors and out, from Florida to Arizona. There is another metaphysical axiom called “The Dissimilarity of the Diverse,” which means all these separate teams have at least one element the others do not. Top-flight college programs are now mostly recruiting multi-sport high school athletes to play a specific college sport. These athletes just have more crossover traits that translate into competitive success. But it’s all argumentative and just fun to talk about.

Snippets - I wish the NCAA would make it easier for recruited athletes to play two sports like back in the 1980s when many women played field hockey and lacrosse, earning All American honors in both. Imagine a program with 25 two-sport athletes on full scholarships. The Division III Randolph Macon Yellowjackets basketball team (27-3) will head to Amherst, Mass., for a Friday, March 8 game versus Swarthmore (26-3) in the NCAA Tournament Sectional Semifinals. Amherst (25-4) will meet Nichols (27-2) in the other semifinal. The final will be played Saturday, March 9. Freshman Ian Robertson (Cape) comes off the bench and gets serious primetime minutes for the Yellowjackets. Nichols College in Dudley, Mass., is a small Liberal Arts College that lists Kenny Dykstra as a notable alumni. Not sure where Barbie went to college. Kenneth George Doane (Kenny) is a professional wrestler who was trained by Killer Kowalski. Not sure I should chase that ball, but like a crazed retriever, I can’t help myself. Go on now, git!