Biofeedback’s mixed messages border on too much awareness
Biofeedback - Speaking off the cuff, I had my blood pressure checked Wednesday prior to a blood donation and it was 119/78 with a resting pulse of 68, so I was pretty happy. Then it was a finger stick, the tech said, "to check my iron.” He figured I couldn’t handle the bigger word hemoglobin, not realizing I took every undergraduate class three times, so I’m pretty smart. I started the intake interview by lying about my height and weight but, after all, what does approximate mean anyway? People now buy home blood pressure devices, which make a great Christmas gift for that hypochondriac with WebMD bookmarked on his iMac. Twenty-five years ago, I had a little, round cardiologist take my blood pressure, and gazing up he asked, “What size sport coat do you wear?” Then he told me I was “mildly hypertensive.” I had to tell him, “No, I ain’t, put that wienie cuff away and test me with the big boy constrictor.” I tested normal but wouldn’t tell him my sport coat size, just too personal. Finally, don’t listen to skipped beats and missed beats of the heart, unless you want to go into therapy, and never grab the handles of the poorly calibrated stationary bike, because your heart rate can go from 78 to 190 in an instant. Perhaps it’s a benign PVC and you’re not a plumber, or more likely the machine is messed up. Let’s not even get into glucose and insulin levels, just buy a donut and a large coffee and go sit on a boardwalk bench and decide how old you want to be when you get on the other side of heaven's gate.
Taylor ruptures Achilles - Three-time all-state lacrosse athlete Taylor Gooch of Cape, now a scholarship freshman at Temple, ruptured her Achilles tendon during a morning workout and is scheduled for surgery Friday, Dec. 4. Ruptured tendon equals long road back, but at least it’s the week leading into final exams. Injury is a part of sports, as we know, but this news is just disheartening. We wish Taylor all the best in school and sports, knowing Friday is the first day on the road to recovery. There is just no other way to look at it.
Pledge of Allegiance - The DIAA handbook deals with school teams versus outside clubs and competitions, stating the athlete owes his or her allegiance to the school team first. The rule is written so parents don’t go crying to DIAA if their kid is penalized for missing practice in favor of a sport currently out of season. Sports programs with strong leadership models kick this back to the individual coach, just asking them to develop a policy and make sure they are consistent with its application. Fighting the field hockey and girls' lacrosse successes at Cape (12 state titles over the last seven years) is like tossing the cat into the ceiling fan. Actually, it’s nothing like that, find a better metaphor.
Snippets - Burt Reynolds: "Donald Trump was born on third and swears he hit a triple.” Perhaps Bernie Sanders takes ball four and the entire dugout walks to first (Socialist Joke Book). I was poised to win my first week of the NFL online pool in seven years, all that had to happen was for Cleveland to make a field goal against the Ravens on the last play of a tie game. The kick was blocked and returned for a touchdown; the Ravens won and my streak stays alive! Has running supplanted fishing as Seaside Sussex’s No. 1 sport? Good news for the fish but not so fast, the Pennsylvania Navy is still slaying them at the Hot Dog and picking a few off Hen and Chickens Shoal. And if you think toggling into the ice breakers bouncing the bottom for tautog isn’t fun, you obviously quit drinking a long time ago. Five guys are running so happy tethered together for the Rehoboth Marathon, hoping to break the Guinness Book of World Records collective time, which requires each runner to stay in contact and all to break three hours. The most interesting use of a tether in a sport since Napoleon Dynamite lost to himself in the school playground.
Go on now, git!
