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Christmas carol parodies and more

December 21, 2018

In keeping with long-standing tradition, here are the annual Christmas carol golf parodies.

Versions of these song spoofs have appeared in all of this column’s previous Christmas editions.

I hope you enjoy them.

Best wishes to you and yours for the holiday season!

Away in a Bunker

(As sung to "Away in a Manger")

Away in a bunker,
The little ball lay.
My tee shot went wide right,
Bad words did I say.

I looked at that golf ball

down where it did lay,
It looked like a fried egg.
A safe shot? "No way."

The caddie was laughing,
My partners just smiled.
They knew that my trap shots
Were weak or too wild.

I swung with my sand wedge
The sand it did fly
The ball popped up also,
And rolled by my side.

I need some real guidance,
I need some help quick.
I can’t play this shot, so
I’m writing St. Nick.

Club Pros We Have Heard on High 


(As sung to "Angels we have heard on high")

Club pros we have heard on high,
Shouting loudly o’er the range
And their students in reply,
Harken to their anxious strains.

CHORUS:

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I’ll watch the ball for you.

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I will watch the ball for you.

We the Clubs of Titleist Are 

(As sung to "We Three Kings of Orient Are")

We the clubs of Titleist are,
You will hit our Drivers so far,
Many lofts for you to choose from,
Following "Morning Drive."

CHORUS:

Oh, clubs of wonder, clubs of might,
Clubs with special features bright,
Selling hope for our next tee shot,
Guide us to the perfect drive.

Putting Woes


(As sung to "Silent Night")

Putt-ing woes! 
Putt-ing woes!
All’s not calm, All’s not bright.
After three putts missed
I’m fit to be tied,
The first two went short and
The last one just wide.
Make this fourth putt, oh please, please
Ma-ke this fo-urth putt, please.

The Pro Shop

(As sung to "Silver Bells")

See the pro shop,
Busy golf shop,
Decked in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.

Golfers laughing,
 players putting,
Buying clubs with a smile.
And at ev’ry sales counter you hear:

CHORUS:

Silver bells, silver bells,
It’s Christmas time in the pro shop.
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring,
Cash registers sing all day.

Here We Go A-golf-ing


(Sung to "Here we come a-caroling")

Here we go a-golf-ing
Among the fairways green;
Here we go a-wandering,
No bad shots to be seen:

CHORUS:

Love and joy come to you,
And to you fun golfing too;
And God bless you and
Send you a happy New Year,
And God send you a happy New Year.

Last-minute gift idea

If you’re still stuck about what to give someone for Christmas, consider giving a gift in that person’s name to The First Tee of Delaware.

Delaware’s First Tee chapter has served well over 16,000 children throughout the state. Using golf, its rules, its standards, and its culture, First Tee helps instill core values and healthy life habits such as honesty, integrity, responsibility, and judgment.

Thus far every Delaware participant has received local, regional, or national college scholarships, which says something about the success of First Tee.

To make a tax-deductible donation, call 302-384-8759 or go to www.thefirstteedelaware.org.

  • Fritz Schranck has been writing about the Cape Region's golf community since 1999. Snippets, stories and anecdotes from his columns are included in his new book, "Hole By Hole: Golf Stories from Delaware's Cape Region and Beyond," which is available at the Cape Gazette offices, Browseabout Books in Rehoboth Beach, Biblion Books in Lewes, and local golf courses. His columns and book reviews are available at HoleByHole.com.

    Contact Fritz by emailing fschranck@holebyhole.com.

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