Girl Scouts honor Rehoboth author, activist Fay Jacobs

Known equally well for her award-winning books as for her social justice advocacy, Rehoboth resident Fay Jacobs never dreamed she would receive an award from the Girl Scouts.

“I never imagined all those closeted years ago I would be celebrated, an openly gay woman,” she said. “It’s incredibly meaningful. That they think I’m worthy says the work we’ve been doing has had an impact. That’s important for the younger generation.”

Jacobs was named Sussex County Woman of Distinction by the Girl Scouts of the Chesapeake Bay at a Sept. 26 luncheon at the Clubhouse at Baywood.

Girl Scouts Communications and Marketing Manager Emily Hammer said scout leaders searched for an impactful woman to honor.

“She's a great role model for our girls,” she said. “She represents girls well and displays all the values of Girl Scouts.”

While accepting her award, Jacobs proudly displayed her very own vintage Girl Scout knife. She told the audience she was 8 years old and her sister was 5 when they enrolled in ballet class.

“Within weeks, my sister showed incredible promise,” Jacobs said. “Me, not so much.”

Jacobs said when she refused to go on stage in a tutu, her mother suggested she join the Brownies instead. As a Brownie and Girl Scout, Jacobs said she was introduced to photography and theater, interests she carries with her to this day.

“And then there were the cookies! ‘Death of a Salesman’ had nothing on me,” she said. “I once sold 62 boxes at a Passover seder. I was glad to find out they were kosher.”

Since her Girl Scout days, the New York native has enjoyed a 35-year career in journalism, public relations and theater. She has published five books with Bywater Books and has written for The Washington Post and Baltimore Sun. She is next performing her one-woman show, “Aging Gracelessly: 50 Years of Fay,” in New Hope, Pa., Friday, Oct. 19.

Known as a humorist, Jacobs said she still dabbles in theater but mostly writes opinion and humor columns.

“Humor and activism often go hand-in-hand, which is fun,” she said.

Jacobs has been an LGBT journalist for The Advocate, Curve Magazine and Letters from CAMP Rehoboth. She was an early advocate for marriage equality.

“I knew I was different at a young age,” she said. “It took about two decades after I kicked my tutu to the curb to define myself and come out of the closet as a gay woman.”

Jacobs said she met wife Bonnie Quesenberry in 1982, and moved to Rehoboth from the Washington, D.C. area nearly 25 years ago.

“We moved to Rehoboth because it’s a community with room for all, and I couldn't love it any more,” she said.

Jacobs said she and Quesenberry were married first in 2003 in Canada, followed by a civil union in 2012 in Rehoboth. When the Supreme Court approved marriage equality, the civil union converted to a legal marriage.

Rehoboth Mayor Paul Kuhns, Rehoboth Commissioner Kathy McGuiness and Speaker of the House Rep. Pete Schwartzkopf, D-Rehoboth, attended the luncheon to support Jacobs. Schwartzkopf said he met Jacobs soon after she moved to Rehoboth.

“When Fay got here, she took over and took this place by storm, and Rehoboth has never been the same,” he said.

Schwartzkopf recounted seeking Jacobs’ advice when he decided to run for office in 2002.

“I put together a small group of seven women and one man, and I finally asked the man to step aside,” he said.

To much laughter, he continued, “I’m not dumb; I know women are smarter than men. They don’t have the testosterone that makes them act stupid, so I listen to their advice.”

Schwartzkopf said Jacobs epitomizes courage, confidence and character, and he learned through her the importance of working for a better community.

“She took me to an LGBT meeting, where I spoke and thought I hit it out of the ballpark,” he said. “I asked Fay how she thought I did, and she said, ‘eh.’”

Schwartzkopf said he pressed her to expand on her opinion.

“She said it’s not OK to just say you support something. You have to go out and fight for it, speak boldly, loudly and with conviction,” he said. “That’s what she taught me. She’s one of my biggest supporters, and I love her.”