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The many faces of love

February 12, 2023

Valentine's Day is coming soon, just a few days from the appearance of this column, and as I lay waking up this Monday morning, hoping for ideas to come my way, it seemed to beckon. Old Man January has blown out without snow, and I'm grateful, but as my grandmother used to say, "Don't wish your life away!"

Valentine's Day is not a business or bank holiday, and schools remain open. In fact, I remember from my school days the big pink, white and red (sometimes with a touch of lavender) card box with the slot on top. I, as the class artist, usually pasted this together while sitting prominently in the classroom before the afternoon party. Cards were deposited inside and you waited trepidatiously, hoping to garner a respectable pile of cards for display on your desktop.

Also, there were the pastel-colored candy hearts that depicted simple sayings like "Kiss Me,” "Be Mine" or "Hot Stuff.” The only "Hot Stuff" we knew about at that tender age was the tiny cinnamon hearts in cellophane bags. As uninspiring to the palate as their cousin of the time, Necco Wafers, they dissolved on the tongue slowly and medicinally to take your mind off the frighteningly slow-growing pile of Valentines, mostly from girlfriends, accumulating on your desk. Oh, one day love will come for me, I thought – and it did!

Valentine's Day, Feb. 14, comes on the feast day of two different martyrs named Valentine who for some archaic reason were burned at the stake. But it started out as an ancient Roman festival called Lupercalia, which took place Feb. 15 and honored the Roman goddess of women and marriage, and Pan, the god of nature. Also, Cupid, the son of Venus, was known to shoot arrows into the hearts of the love-stricken.

February is the unofficial beginning of early spring. My mother used to say that you could start to wear hats adorned with spring flowers at this time, but who does that anymore except church ladies? More stores in Rehoboth and Lewes start to open on Valentine's weekend after the winter slumber, a short nap for the resorts these days. Dinner out is often on the night before or after Valentine's Day. However, no takeout ever for me if you want to be my Valentine!

There are many kinds of love to celebrate, not only romantic love. Love of family, love of country, love of the place where you live, love of your work, love of God if you're one of the faithful, or love of pets, to name a few. I remember a speech made by one of the senior members of the Twins Club back when I was a member; she said, “Your mate may not always be your mate, but your children will always be your children. And having children is the only love that grows to separation.”

Recently in the Dear Abby column of the newspaper, a father of five complained that his children hardly ever called him. Just pick up the phone and call them, advised Dear Abby! This is easier said than done! My own children, and hardly anyone else, ever picks up the phone, and quite often children do not call back, at least not right away. But I'm happy that they're independent, have significant others to love, children of their own and work that they love. It's certainly better than them living in the basement.

So I hope all of my dear readers have a happy Valentine's Day. You have given me much love, coming up to me in the Food Lion supermarket and stopping me on the streets. I have found a new love in writing that complements my love of creating art, so you might find me creating Valentine-inspired pins or heart boxes instead of pasting together the big classroom Valentine box of years past. At least now I don't have to worry about the height of the stack of Valentine cards on my desk. I only need one!

  • Pam Bounds is a well-known artist living in Milton who holds bachelor’s and master’s degrees in fine art. She will be sharing humorous and thoughtful observations about life in Sussex County and beyond.

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