Some streamers are dreamers who forget to hit the start button

You there? - The answer to that texted question is always, yes, I am here; otherwise, I would have to be someplace else. Livestreamed transmissions from sporting events that don’t allow spectators isn’t always reliable, but it helps if the system is actually turned on. I was sitting in my blue chair matside at Polytech Jan. 20, taking photos and double-texting wrestling results because I was there, but when the livestream was finally activated after five matches, I was thrown out of the boat like an extra youth-sized lifejacket for a chair-and-a-half-sized adult. And because maybe I’m crazy like Gnarls Barkley, I get home and log into the Caesar Rodney at Milford match, except none of the streaming platforms are working. But the Milford wrestling Facebook page was livestreaming the match, a one-point comeback win by the Riders powered by three forfeits. Eating chicken parmesan from Touch of Italy while watching a Facebook Live high school wrestling match while I have another thousand photos of an earlier match qualifies me as being on the spectrum of Pop Pop sports disorders. Do you know where your grandfather is on any given day? “Gramps, you there?” 

Demographics - I watch Cape basketball, both girls and boys, and wonder how the current teams match up with squads from different eras. Starting with the Cape girls’ state championship team of 1973, could they hang with the 2021 version of Cape basketball? How about the 2011 team coached by Lamont Hazzard that reached the state finals – where do they place? And on the boys’ side, anyone who ever suggests that a Cape team was on a level with the 1975 team should just move to a different district or pursue a major in library science. And yet the 2017 team that went 18-2 featuring Randy Rickards, Ian Robertson, Skylar Johnson, Sh’Kai Chandler and Izaiah Dadzie was a threat to a title until the wheels came off the wagon in a conference playoff game versus Smyrna. But in 2021, the Cape campus looks like a small college, and many houses close to campus cost over a million dollars. The composite nature of teams is sports specific. The late Petey Hazzard – Haywood Burton is his son – used to ask me about hosting a Saturday morning sports forum just to talk about local issues and trends, a sort of play-nice public discussion. Social media is not a play-nice marketplace, just too many “My word is the last word and I’m always right” players. 

I Love Lucy - I call it I Love Lucy Syndrome, just a sitcom kitchen of confusion I have no interest in straightening out. Both men’s and women’s college lacrosse teams are supposed to be practicing and getting ready to open their seasons. Kevin Corrigan is the men’s head coach at Notre Dame. Cape coach Mark D’Ambrogi is his first cousin. Kevin was quoted on uslaxmagazine.com: “To focus through all the protocols and everything else, it’s exhausting. The social restrictions, logistical restrictions of every single day, it gives you a headache. Just how to get guys through the locker room. Things you never gave seconds of thought to before. That’s exhausting for everybody.” The earliest game of the 2021 college lacrosse season is set for Jan. 30 in women’s lacrosse featuring Bellarmine visiting the Mercer Bears of Macon, Ga. But go to the Mercer athletic website and the 2021 schedule isn’t posted yet, and it’s the same for most colleges that are finalizing conference and out-of-conference schedules. Mercer has three Cape athletes on the roster, including Chloe Schaeffer, Iseabal Cryne and Cailey Thornburg. 

Snippets - I am the nonessential old guy, a masked man who always seems to be out there someplace where real-time sporting events are going down. And I’m happy to say I just joined a group of 200,000 65-and-over nonessential Delawareans waiting for a COVID vaccine appointment. I have a PhD in circumventing lines going back to college registration days, but so far I’m playing by the rules, which in the end could get me killed. I was thinking of trading an Athlete of the Week placement for a shot of vaccine, which wouldn’t be illegal, but certainly unethical and incredibly lame. So I’ll just represent the loser in a long line if I can even snag a spot in the line. Speaking of necks, do you know the difference between a gaiter and a goiter? Go on now, git!