Tail over teakettle while keeping pace with fast people

Tail over teakettle - Cape’s Curtis Purnell (2018) returns a kickoff on a Friday night. He is head-over-heels happy, the way it’s supposed to be, but the trailing official is tail over teakettle. And if you’ve ever slipped while carrying a teakettle, don’t expect your afternoon guest sitting by the picture window in the parlor of your house not to laugh. Hats off – pun intended – to all officials who are out there running with the athletes, dodging balls and bodies. I really don’t know why more of them don’t get trucked or pull muscles. It is hazardous duty. I bail like a Boston Whaler when flow comes my way. A mask may be required, but a helmet is a better idea.  

Health inspector - Most of us have had jobs growing up where the words “health inspector is coming” strike fear into the hearts of business owners because they knew that the Department of Health could shut them down in a fastidious minute. Fast forward then full stop to the asymptomatic world of COVID testing. Individuals self-report to the team, and school teams self-report to the Division of Public Health. Any time a team is self-reporting anything that amends the sports schedule, the conspiracy theorists are awakened, figuring the reason given ain’t the real reason behind a postponement or cancellation. Sportsmanship is taught, but blind trust among competitors is tempered with a healthy dose of skepticism. The Sussex Central wrestling match at Cape scheduled for Jan. 13 and the Golden Knights’ home match versus Milford scheduled for Saturday, Jan. 16, were postponed because of COVID issues. Milford is now scheduled to wrestle at Cape Jan. 16. I think the Division of Public Health should have a kettle outside all big box stores with a bell ringer and swab swiper. Just wondering why the athletes get so much attention.

Hut hut, plumbers butt - All politics aside, when thousands of enraged rioters broke the sound/mind barriers of the people's house Jan. 6, it was as ugly as their high school yearbook photos. And no masks and likely a COVID super spreader event – this was more like a super soaker event. No one was asking, “Excuse me, does anyone know where the bathroom is around here?” Remember when Dogpile was a search engine? That’s all I’m asking. But as the Alan Jackson country song goes, “Here in the real world” of Delaware high school sports, there are no visiting spectators and only one family person per athlete allowed. The good news is the bathrooms are open.  

Confuse a cat - The British comedy troupe Monty Python had a skit called “Confuse a Cat,” which was a traveling magic show designed to move house cats who hadn’t moved for days. The premise was the bored cat would get so confused it would get up and move on to another location. I am “Columbo Cat” trying to figure out what colleges are doing with spring sports played outdoors and how many fall sports are now playing a spring schedule. There are sports that, as a rule, don’t attract spectators, so fans are all in the “need to know” zone where livestreaming has taken the place of live attendance. But it’s just not the same – the tailgate in the driveway with your socially distanced cat creates confusion for everyone. 

Snippets - Social media is a network, but people were talking about networking long before social media existed. Going to school in your home state where you intend to live establishes a social network. Whether it ever translates to an actual job for your networked self is probably based more on your walk-around talents. These issues become important when selecting a career path that doesn’t always circle back to your high school. Cape’s Samantha Connors, a junior, has verbally committed to play field hockey at Appalachian State University in Boone, N.C. App State has 17,000 students and offers 17 Division I sports. The Mountaineers are playing a 2021 spring schedule, making up for being shut down last fall. Austin Elliott, after two years at the University of North Carolina, is now on the roster at the University of Delaware and listed as a redshirt freshman. Austin was an all-state outfielder and pitcher on Cape’s 2018 state championship baseball team. Cape’s Cami Smith was on the West Chester University 2020 field hockey roster, but then the season was canceled. And so Cami and Darby Klopp (Franklin and Marshall) were volunteer assistants on Cape’s 2020 state championship field hockey team. “Ka Ka-boom!” That is the sound of my flutter kick in the open ocean. RBP's Seventies Show featuring the hair tow. Go on now, git!